Truth of the Liar
by fringeperson
Summary: For centuries, Loki has used the secret ways to find refuge in the other realms when the company of Asgard became too much to bear. Now, with his brother (beloved, however foolish and hurtful he can be) banished, and his own heritage revealed to him, Loki decides that it is once again time to leave Asgard for the sanctuary of another realm. Don't own, complete.
1. Chapter 1

"My Prince?" Heimdall questioned when Loki appeared to remain behind after he had sent the party on to Jotunheim.

"A _very_ detailed clone of magic," Loki explained. "My true self _is_ on Jotunheim. Someone has to be the voice of diplomacy when Thor would start a new war. You wanted to know how it could be possible for the Frost Giants to pass you, to enter Asgard without your notice."

"You know such a way?" Heimdall asked lowly.

"I do," Loki answered. "I did not believe that the Frost Giants also knew, or I would have spoken of the matter to you and my father. I could not in good conscience speak of this in Thor's presence, however. He would wage war on Jotunheim by himself without having to pass by your guard."

"How did you come to know of such a way?" Heimdall asked.

Loki snorted. "Every time Thor was being unbearably arrogant, thoughtlessly unkind, or displaying any of his other numerous, undesirable personality traits and I could not bear to be in his company... I... sought out different company. I travelled through secret ways to other realms, learned about their peoples, returned when I felt I could bear my brother's insensitivity again," he explained.

"My Prince, did you _bring_ the Frost Giants to Asgard?" Heimdall asked dangerously.

Loki snorted again. "No," he answered. "Though granted, they certainly had _timing_. I have no desire to have anything to do with Frost Giants. When I found the secret way to Jotunheim, I returned as soon as I recognised where I was, locked the door of the room, and left instead to Midgard. Still, I follow my brother. Someone has to keep him out of trouble."

Heimdall actually smiled a tiny bit then. "A task that is a great deal harder than most are given to believe," he commented.

Loki groaned. "Something just happened in Jotunheim, didn't it?" he asked, then sighed when Heimdall nodded. "I will go to my father and order for Sliepnir to be saddled."

"A wise decision," Heimdall agreed.

The clone of magic groaned again, mounted one of the horses that had been left on the bridge – Loki's own – and rode as fast as he could back to Asgard.

~oOo~

"Father," Loki called softly, tentatively, when Thor had been banished to Midgard. "May I speak now?"

Odin huffed. "I am not well pleased with you _either_ Loki," he said sternly, "but yes, you may speak now."

"One of the Jotuns took hold of my arm while we fought... I... did not burn from the cold as Volstagg did, but... I... my arm, my hand, turned blue. The same blue as a Jotun," Loki said.

"The Casket of Winter was not _all_ that your father took from the Jotun Temple," Heimdall offered lowly. "He also brought back a babe that had been abandoned for being too small."

"Why?" Loki asked, the beginnings of desperate tears rimming his eyes as he looked from Heimdall, who saw all, to his father – the only one who knew his reasoning. "You were knee-deep in the blood of Jotuns! Why would you save _me_?"

"Because you were innocent," Odin said, "and you were beautiful, and your mother and I had always wanted more children. I had thought, for a moment, to unite Asgard and Jotunheim through you, but Heimdall told me why you had been abandoned, and I knew such a plan would not work. By then, it didn't matter. By then, Loki, with your smile and your bright eyes and your baby's laughter, you were already in my heart."

Loki swallowed tightly. "And Mother?" he asked.

Odin chuckled. "Oh, she scolded me for even thinking, however briefly, of a baby as a political tool and said if I ever treated _her_ baby – you, Loki – as such, then she would spank _me_."

"That was an amusing day," Heimdall recalled, and lay a hand on Loki's shoulder. "You _are_ my Prince. I would not call you such, if you were not."

"Thank you, Heimdall," Loki said softly. "I... I need some time to think on this though... and... I do not think I could bear to be _here_ while I do that thinking."

Odin nodded in tired acceptance. "I have been a poor father," he said. "To both you _and_ Thor, while I was busy as a king. I should have censured him more, praised _you_ more, but fatherhood falls by the wayside when one has a duty to all the people of Asgard, not just his family. Know, Loki, that I _do_ love you. Heimdall," he said, and with a nod he left the observatory tiredly, mounted Sleipnir and rode slowly back to the palace.

"My Prince," Heimdall said. "Would you travel with the Bifrost, or take one of your secret ways?"

"I... the Bifrost, please Heimdall. The secret ways... to travel to Midgard I must leave from a particular corner deep within the royal library. If I saw Mother on my way... I..."

"I understand, my Prince," Heimdall said. "Though before you leave, may I ask where the secret way to Jotunheim opens in Asgard?"

"There is a store room between the Throne Room and the Vault. It comes out there," Loki answered. "Of course, such things are not simply stumbled into. It requires magic. A mastery of magic I had not suspected the Frost Giants of having. Or, as I said, I would have told you and my father before now. I would have done more than merely lock the door of the room that day, had I even suspected such."

Heimdall nodded in grave acceptance, and opened the Bifrost to Midgard for Loki. He had indicated that to be where he wished to go.

"Thank you, Heimdall."

"I wish you a safe journey, my Prince."

~oOo~

Loki blinked in mild surprise to see those present when he arrived on Midgard. He blinked again to see that Thor was unconscious at his feet with two thin wires that extended from clips at his chest to a plastic thing held by a young woman. He couldn't help but smile as he walked over to her.

"May I know the name of the woman who, I believe, _electrocuted_ my brother?" he asked, gently taking her hand and raising it so that he could press his lips to her knuckles when she answered.

"Darcy Lewis," she answered.

"Lady Darcy," Loki said, and kissed her hand. "I thank you. Thor was _long_ overdue a humbling."

"He was freaking me out," Darcy admitted even as she started to blush.

"Excuse me! Excuse me, where did you come from? You weren't here a second ago, and then suddenly you just... appeared out of _nowhere_!" exclaimed the second woman.

"I came from Asgard, through the Bifrost. This idiot," Loki added, absently kicking the unconscious Thor in the thigh, "would have landed on his feet as I did, except that he was stripped of his powers and immortality and _banished_ from Asgard. I am here by choice."

"Actually, he _might_ have landed on his feet," Darcy put in. "Jane hit him with the van before I tased him."

"It was an accident!" the blonde woman – Jane, presumably – hissed.

Loki just laughed and released Darcy's hand at last. With a wave, he caused the wires of her taser to re-curl themselves back into place, the clips no longer attached to Thor's shirt.

"Thank you," Darcy said, blinking in surprise.

"How'd you do that?" Jane asked, nearly demanded. "No, never mind right now. Erik, we've got data to collect. Darcy, can you get the man _you_ made unconscious out of the way please?"

"Aye-aye, Boss-lady," Darcy answered with a sigh, and started to tuck away her taser and her torch so that she'd have both hands for dragging the big guy.

Loki beat her to it, hauling his brother up over his shoulder.

"I'm used to it," he said.

"Oh, well, thank you, again," Darcy answered. Then she blinked in surprise as she noticed something over Loki's shoulder. "Um..." she hesitated.

Loki turned to look. "Probably just Mjolnir," he said as he saw the trail of _something_ entering the atmosphere at great speed. "Father would not banish his heir without also giving him a way back, though I _am_ surprised I got to Midgard before it, since it was thrown into the Bifrost before I left." Loki shook his head, dismissing the matter, and turned back to Darcy. "Where shall I put him?"

"Um, I guess you can dump him in the back of the van for now," she suggested, jerking her eyes away from the falling whatever and her thumb towards the truck.

Loki nodded and walked around the vehicle where he waited at the back for Darcy to open the door.

"Scientists or storm-chasers?" Loki asked as he looked around the inside of the van.

"Scientists," Darcy answered. "Though she _acts_ a hell of a lot like a storm-chaser. Jane and Erik are astrophysicists. I'm studying political science at college. I got the gig as Jane's intern because I'm the only one who applied."

Loki smiled. "And why did you apply? If it's not your field of study?"

"Six college credits, for one thing," Darcy answered with an easy shrug, "and, ya know, work experience is always useful when it comes to applying for jobs later."

Loki nodded in understanding. Thor wouldn't understand, but Loki had been coming to Midgard for centuries when he needed to get away from his brother. Now here he was, _with_ his brother on Midgard. This... could be interesting. Thor hadn't been to Midgard since he'd convinced the Vikings he was a god, and already sitting on his father's throne.

"So, uh... You said you're here by choice, while this guy -" she nudged Thor with her foot, "- was banished. Can I ask... what led to you _both_ being here?" Darcy asked.

"Thor was being a particularly _spectacular_ idiot," Loki answered. "He would re-start a war with Jotunheim after thousands of years of peace. As a child, he talked about slaying all the Frost Giants in Jotunheim... and then a few of them managed to sneak into Asgard and interrupt his coronation. He proceeded to go against our father's edicts and travel to Jotunheim, dragging me, the Lady Sif, and the Warriors Three along with him. He was then confrontational and stupid, and caused the peace treaty we have lived safely under all our lives to be broken. Father banished him from Asgard. Thor cannot return until he proves himself _worthy_ of Mjolnir again. But, my big brother is an arrogant toe-rag, so that's not going to be easily done, or done soon without an intervention."

Darcy giggled. "And what about you?" she asked.

Loki's smile – the one that had been fondly mocking his brother – melted off his face. "After Thor was banished, I had to speak with our father on a matter that had disturbed me in Jotunheim. Lady Darcy, forgive me, but I would not speak of it," he implored. "I still do not know what to _think_ of it."

Darcy smiled a little. "Hey, whatever you like," she answered, and twitched her mouth to the side in thought. "Want a hug?" Darcy offered.

Loki blinked in surprise as he looked back up at her. Then he smiled, shifted closer to the young mortal woman, and was hugged. Gratefully, he hugged back.

~oOo~

"So, do we take him to the hospital?" Erik asked when he and Jane returned to the van.

"No," Loki said quickly. "Definitely not. Thor hasn't been on Midgard for centuries. He'd be more likely to view standard hospital procedures as an attack on his royal person."

"Right, no hospitals," Jane agreed. "So, what do we do about his probable concussion and definite electrocution?"

"I know enough healing for this. He'll be fine when he comes around," Loki said with a deriding shake of his head. "After the day _I_ have had though, I am more than ready to find a bed."

"So, what _do_ we do with him?" Jane asked. "I mean, until he wakes up. I know I've got questions for him once that happens, but..."

"Miss Jane, I have been my brother's keeper for centuries. Whatever room you have free to put _me_ in, he can stay there as well," Loki answered.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Erik agreed. "Though I'm curious why Jane's only 'Miss' Jane, and Darcy is 'Lady' Darcy."

"The Lady Darcy tased Thor," Loki answered with a smile. "And I haven't actually been properly introduced to either of you," he added with a pointedly raised eyebrow.

"I'm Doctor Erik Selvig, astrophysicist. This is Doctor Jane Foster, also an astrophysicist," Erik supplied.

"I'm researching Einstein-Rosen Bridges," Jane added.

"What's an Einstein-Rosen Bridge?" Darcy asked.

"I thought you were a science major," Erik quipped with a confused frown.

"Political science," Darcy countered.

"She was the only applicant for the intern-ship," Jane added. "It's a wormhole, Darcy."

"Right. Wasn't that _easier_ to say?"


	2. Chapter 2

Thor blinked his eyes open as the light of a desert morning burned across his face. "Where am I?"

"Good morning, Brother," Loki answered. "You're on Midgard. Father _banished_ you, remember? I told you; there was _nothing_ you could do without defying Father. That it was madness. You went and defied him, and then spat in his face when you should have begged mercy."

"And what are you doing here?" Thor asked, brow furrowed. "Were you banished also? Will Lady Sif and the Warriors Three be joining us as well?"

"Knowing them, they'll probably ask to visit you at the _very_ least. Whether Father allows it or not I do not know, but I think they will not be punished for simply following you," Loki answered, deftly avoiding answering about himself. "What do you remember of your arrival?"

Thor frowned. "I landed... against a strange carriage... there was a beautiful woman... I... appealed to Father and Heimdall to open the Bifrost... then... Ugh..."

Loki smirked. "Then you were struck down by a _small_ weapon, yes?" he guessed. "It seems you didn't hit your head _too_ badly then. Well, Miss Forster has offered you the only clothes she has that are likely to fit you, those of her former swain. The water in the basin is hot," he said with a gesture towards the mixing bowl he'd borrowed from the kitchen. He knew his brother wouldn't be able to handle the intricacies of a shower. An already run bath he could manage, but this was the desert. Baths were just wasteful. He'd have to make do. "Do try _not_ to make a mess, Brother. I will await you outside."

Thor just nodded silently and set to his ablutions. Loki excused himself equally silently and was met in the hallway by the two astrophysicists and a college student.

"He's awake," Loki informed them. "He'll be out shortly, and hungry. I _do_ apologise for the inconvenience."

"If either of you will give me answers, then I really don't mind," Jane answered. "Like, for example, _now_ I have time to ask how you did... whatever it was you did to Darcy's taser."

"Magic," Loki answered with a cheeky smile.

"There's no such _thing_ as magic," Erik asserted grumpily.

"Magic is just science that we don't understand yet," Jane countered. "Arthur C. Clarke."

"He wrote science _fiction_," Erik scolded.

"A precursor to science _fact_," Jane retorted.

"In _some_ cases!" Erik asserted right back.

"Also known as _speculative_ fiction," Loki inserted gently. "The ideas that led to experimentation, creation and finally knowledge that some things weren't as impossible as they were believed to be."

"So can I put on facebook that a god worked his magic on my taser last night?" Darcy asked with a saucy smile.

Loki grinned back. "God of Mischief, to be specific, and only if you friend me," he answered.

"No way. _You're_ on facebook?!" Darcy asked, eyes wide as her smile grew.

Loki laughed. "I am in the habit of returning to Midgard every month or so, at least, and I _always_ check my facebook when I'm here. Loki Odinson of Asgard."

"Awesome!"

Then the door behind Loki opened again, and Thor stepped out – carrying the t-shirt he'd been given rather than wearing it.

"Brother, put the shirt _on_. Do not prance around half-naked," Loki scolded absently.

"Are _you_ that cut?" Darcy asked Loki, looking between the half-naked Thor and the fully dressed Loki.

Loki smirked. "Friend me on facebook and you'll be able to see pictures," he whispered into the brown curls by her ear.

Darcy smiled, blushed, and bit her lower lip.

"What is this?" Thor asked, indicating a sticker on the t-shirt.

"Oops," Jane said with an awkward expression as she ripped the sticker off. "My ex," she explained, with a self-depreciating smile and embarrassed laughter in her voice. "Good with patients, _baaaad_ with relationships. They're the only clothes I had that would fit you."  
"They will suffice," Thor stated. "Though I wonder at _your_ attire, Brother. Garments that would fit my frame would ill fit yours."

"Father did not take my magic from me," Loki answered. "I styled my own garments to the fashions of Midgard."

Thor grunted and headed down the hall past him. "This mortal form has grown weak. I require sustenance."

"You're welcome," Jane quipped quietly to his back.

"Did I warn you that my elder brother is an arrogant, ungrateful toe-rag?" Loki asked quietly.

"You forgot to mention ungrateful," Darcy said. "But I guess it fits with the arrogant bit. And you told me, not Jane or Erik."

"Ah, then I apologise for the oversight," Loki said. "You can be grateful that he hasn't Volstagg's appetite at least," he added with a sigh. "And I _can_ pay you back his expenses."

~oOo~

"How did you get inside that cloud?" Jane asked as they sat in a diner.

"Also, how could you eat an _entire_ box of pop-tarts and _still_ be this hungry?" Darcy added. It had been the _last_ box of pop-tarts as well, which was why they were at the diner. Jane Foster, apparently, lived on pop-tarts and sugary cereal – the cereal box was in her van, and nearly empty as well, so they were out of food at the research hub.

There would be a grocery run performed at some point that day. Likely by Darcy. Interns got relegated tasks like that, especially when they were the _only_ intern.

"Father didn't make him exactly _human_," Loki quipped. "Just mortal and powerless."

Thor completely ignored the talk – as he usually did when he was eating, unless _he_ was the one talking, of course – and drained the coffee cup. "This drink, I like it," he announced through the food he was still chewing.

"I know, it's great, right?" Darcy said with a smile.

"Another!"

Loki closed his eyes with a groan as everyone else yelped in fright at Thor having thrown his cup down, smashing it. Just like he did in Asgard. With a wave of his hand, he fixed the cup.

"What was that?" Jane asked, shocked. Her question directed at Thor, rather than Loki.

"It was delicious, I want another," Thor answered simply, a smile on his face.

"You could have just said so," Jane said.

"I just did," he replied, his smile growing.

"No, I mean, _ask_, _nicely_," Jane corrected firmly.

"I meant no disrespect," Thor assured her.

"Alright, well, no more smashing," Jane scolded. "Deal?"

Thor was silent for perhaps a moment too long, or perhaps he was just chewing, but Loki was inclined to believe it wasn't that. Still, "You have my word," Thor agreed.

Loki wondered if that would carry over back to Asgard, if Thor ever was able to return. Certainly their mother would be _thrilled_ to hear Thor wouldn't be destroying the goblets all the time any more.

"Good."

"Can you teach me to do that?" Darcy asked Loki quietly as she examined the cup Thor had smashed. It was whole, unbroken, and didn't even look like it _had_ been smashed.

"I can teach," Loki answered her. "Whether you can learn is a different matter. Magic isn't an _entirely_ learned thing, after all. There needs to be some affinity."

"And do I _have_ any affinity?" Darcy pressed, clearly hopeful.

Loki narrowed his eyes at her, studying Darcy's aura. "A little," he decided. "Enough for simple things."

"That's enough for me then!" Darcy cheered.

"The usual please, Izzy," came from the door as two men entered.

"You missed all the excitement out at the crater," the second man said as they took their seats at the bar of the diner.

"Sayin' some kinda _satellite_ landed out in the desert," his friend who'd ordered joined in.

"Yeah. We were havin' a _good time_ with it, until the Fed's showed up."

"Excuse me," Jane said, turning in her seat. "Did you say there was a satellite crash?"

"Yeah," answered the man in the blue denim jacket.

"Oh my god," Darcy said with a slight groan as she pulled her phone out of her pocket and aimed the camera on it at Thor. "This is going on facebook. Smile."

Thor obligingly smiled. Close-mouthed, since he'd just shoved more egg in.

Loki leant his chin onto Darcy's shoulder.

"That's not facebook," he whispered into her curls.

Darcy smiled and clicked over on her phone. "I'd forgotten my _other_ job. I'll explain later," she typed up so that Loki could see.

Loki smirked.

"What did it look like, this satellite?" Erik asked.

"Well, I don't know anything about _satellites_," the guy in the denim jacket answered honestly, "_but_, it was heavy. _Nobody_ could lift it."

Thor almost immediately set his cutlery down and got out of his chair.

Loki covered his eyes. "A challenge," he sighed in resignation. "_And_ he's probably figured out that it's Mjolnir," he added with a shake of his head as he dragged his hand down his face and returned to his meal, ignoring his brother who was getting directions to the crater.

Jane and Erik both followed after him. Well, _Jane_ followed Thor, _Erik_ followed _Jane_.

Darcy stayed with Loki at the diner.

"Tell me now?" Loki asked with a smile.

Darcy grinned back. "There's a _reason_ why a poli-sci major was the _only_ applicant to Dr Foster's intern-ship. In exchange for getting all my student loans paid, I report to a group called 'Shield'. Um... it's an acronym... stands for... Strategic Hazard Intervention Espionage Logistics Division," Darcy explained. "I sent a text already about the 'probably Mjolnir' while Jane was driving us back to base last night, and let them know that two extra-terrestrials were staying with us, but I should have sent pictures as well. I, uh, got distracted by..."

"How cut my brother is?" Loki suggested.

"And how green your eyes are," Darcy added with a smile. "Come on," she said, getting up from the table. "I want to see the pictures of you on facebook. It's not fair that I've only seen _one_ of you without your shirt on. I can't make proper comparisons, and my phone's screen is _way_ too tiny."

Loki chuckled and rose as well, quickly stacking the used plates and leaving a tip for Izzy. Any one who could put up with Thor in their diner deserved a tip. He'd been banned from the kitchen since he was young after all, and never allowed back. The golden boy Thor may have been, but the cook refused to have warriors in _her_ domain. Let them wait for the food to be served at the tables.

~oOo~

They arrived back at Jane's research centre a mere two steps behind the woman in question. The woman in question had a question of her own.

"What the hell is going on here?" she demanded.

"Miss Foster, I'm Agent Coulson, with Shield," answered a suited, balding man as his many minions around the building were packing up Jane's equipment and research.

"Is that supposed to mean something to me?" Jane asked, on her way to either righteous fury or hysteria. "You can't _do_ this!"

Agent Coulson just smiled pleasantly while Erik whispered to Jane.

"Let it go?!" she demanded harshly as she pushed past the older man. "This is my _life_."

"We're investigating a security threat," Agent Coulson informed her. "We need to appropriate your records and all your atmospheric data."

"By 'appropriate' do you mean 'steal'?" she demanded.

"Here," Agent Coulson said, offering her a piece of paper. "This should more than compensate you for your trouble."

"I can't just _buy_ replacements at RadioShack," she answered as she snatched the cheque from him angrily and scrunched it up. "I _made_ most of this equipment myself."

"Then I'm sure you can do it again," Agent Coulson said, his voice calm and reasonable.

"And I'm sure I can sue you for violating my constitutional rights!"

"I'm sorry, Miss Foster, but we're the good-guys," Agent Coulson said, and he even sounded like he _was_ sorry.

"So are we!" Jane said desperately. "I'm on the verge of understanding something _extraordinary_, and everything I know about this phenomenon is either _in_ this lab or _in_ this book, and you _can't_ just take this awa– hey!" she objected as another suited agent took the book from her hand and set it in the truck they were loading all her equipment into.

"Shouldn't have mentioned the book," Loki said lowly.

"Duh," Darcy agreed softly.

"Thank you for your co-operation," Agent Coulson said as truck doors were being shut and other agents were getting into cars and driving off.

Darcy wrapped comforting arms around Jane, and Loki admitted to himself that he was impressed with how consoling the girl could be when she had been spying for the organisation that had just announced their confiscation of all of Miss Foster's work and equipment.

~oOo~

They retreated to the roof to look out over the town and lament the losses of the day.

"Years of research, gone," Jane said with angry despondency.

"They even took my ipod," Darcy added.

"What about the back-ups?" Erik asked.

"They took our back-ups," Jane answered. "They took our back-ups of our back-ups. They were _extremely_ thorough," she complained.

"I just downloaded, like, thirty songs on there," Darcy said.

"Could you, _please_, stop with your ipod?" Jane snapped. "Who _are_ these people?"

"I knew this scientist," Erik offered, "a pioneer in gamma radiation. Shield showed up and, uh, he wasn't heard from again."

"They're _not_ going to do that to us," Jane insisted. "I'm gonna get everything back."

"Let me contact one of my colleagues," Erik suggested. "He's had some dealings with these people before. I'll email him, and... maybe he can help..."

"They took your laptop too," Darcy informed him kindly.

Loki sighed, then blinked as he saw a figure approaching. "It can't be," he breathed.

"Loki?" Darcy asked.

He blinked. "It's... my mother," he answered, and scrambled to his feet so that he could magic himself down to her.

"Can I meet her?" Darcy asked, also climbing to her feet.

Loki smiled and wrapped an arm around the girl before teleporting down. "Mother," he greeted, and held out his arms for her embrace. She did not disappoint, gladly holding him. "What are you _doing_ here?"

"Delivering a message," she answered. "Your father has fallen into the Odinsleep."

"You have come to collect Thor back to Asgard," Loki said, releasing his hold on her and stepping back away.

Frigga shook her head. "No," she answered. "Thor was banished, and though it pains my heart, your father did a wise thing. Thor has much to learn before he may rule Asgard. I came," she said, and took a deep, steeling breath, "to ask if _you_ would take the throne while your father sleeps."

Loki blinked in shock. "Me?" he asked. "A Jotun? On the throne of Asgard?"

"Oh Loki," Frigga breathed, tears gathering in her eyes. "You are _our_ son, _my_ son. An heir to the throne of Asgard just as surely as Thor. It would be your place now, if you will accept it."

Loki shook his head. "I never wanted to be king," he answered her. "I knew Thor was not _ready_ to be king, but I did not want to take his place."

Frigga nodded. "Then I will return to Asgard at once," she said, and began to turn back to the Bifrost site.

"You will not even see Thor?" Loki asked, surprised, stalling her.

Frigga shook her head. "It is too painful," she answered him sadly. "I could not bear to look at him until he has proven himself worthy to return home. But you are here by choice, my Loki, so I had to ask you."

"I understand, Mother," Loki said.

"Loki?" Darcy asked quietly.

"Oh, forgive my manners. Mother, this is the Lady Darcy Lewis, she has become a friend already in my time on Midgard," Loki introduced with a smile. Darcy _had_ managed to 'friend' him on facebook before the agents had taken everything away. Being their little spy probably helped with that actually. More than that though, she really was more interested in what _he_ had to say than whatever _Thor _was up to. "Lady Darcy, this is my mother, Frigga, Queen of Asgard."

Darcy, in her leggings and mini-skirt, did as best a curtsey as she could.

"I thank you, Lady Darcy, for being a friend to my son Loki. He hasn't enough friends who understand and appreciate his value," Frigga said with a smile.

"He's a great guy," Darcy said, a slight blush on her cheeks. "I'm more than happy to count him a friend."

"Perhaps," Frigga said, looking between the two, "when you come back to Asgard, my son, you will bring the Lady Darcy?"

"Perhaps," Loki agreed non-committally, a slight smile on his features.


	3. Chapter 3

Jane disappeared. Her van too. But she was not the greatest concern, and Loki, _knowing_ his brother, took Darcy to the local pet shop.

"Did some big blonde idiot come in here asking for a horse?" Loki asked the man at the counter.

The man nodded. "And when I told him we only have cats, dogs and birds he asked for one of those big enough to ride. You know him?"

"Unfortunately," Loki answered. "He's my brother. Did you see which way he went?"

"Yeah, uh, some blonde chick in a van offered him a lift. They took off that way," the man answered, pointing to indicate which way down the street Miss Foster had driven Thor.

"Thank you," Loki said. "Now, I have another question."

"Yeah?"

"Do you stock tranquillisers, or should I go straight to the local hospital?"

The man chuckled. "Sorry, we're not _that_ big a pet store," he said. "Have to be the hospital."

"Thank you," Loki said again, and turned to Darcy – who was smiling at one of the puppies. "How much is the one she's smiling at?" he asked in a whisper.

The man chuckled again. "Beagle that one. He's cute huh? Beagles from breeders average around seven-hundred, but he's got a bit of something else in him, not sure what, so we bring it down to six-fifty."

Loki smiled. "Add in a collar, leash, food dish, bed, that will bring it up easily to a round seven-hundred again, won't it?" he suggested.

The man smiled back. "You better ask your girl before you go buying her a dog. They like to be consulted before you start bringing small fluffy things home, even if they love the small fluffy things," he advised.

Loki chuckled and moved towards Darcy.

"Miss Foster took Thor out to the crater," Loki said softly. "If you like, I'll buy that puppy for you."

Darcy giggled. "Thanks, but no," she said, shaking her head. "I'm in an enclosed space with _Jane_ most days still, and to my knowledge Shield isn't zoned for pets."

Loki nodded in understanding, and they both waved their thanks to the man behind the counter before they left.

~oOo~

"He committed a crime! He's in jail!" Erik objected when Jane started talking about rescuing Thor after he'd brought her back from the crater site.

"I can't just leave him there!" Jane objected right back.

"Why?"

"You didn't see what I saw!"

"Look! Look, it's mew-mew!" Darcy said, calling for Jane's attention. She'd been leafing through the book of Norse tales that Erik had brought back from the library.

"Where did you find this?" Jane asked.

"The children's section," Erik answered firmly. "I just wanted to show you how silly the story was," Erik added. "Not meaning to offend, Mr Odinson," he added to Loki. "But you have to admit..."  
Loki smiled. "It _is_ all a bit far-fetched and fantastic, isn't it?" he allowed. "Even though I appeared before your eyes; vanished with Lady Darcy to greet my mother, again before your eyes; repaired a cup my ignorant brother had smashed so that it looked as though it had never been damaged..."

Erik shifted uncomfortably. "Yes, well... You haven't really offered any explanations either."

Loki smiled, and it was a bitter smile. "Also, I beg you believe _nothing_ in there as it pertains to me. My brother is the one who told most of those tales to the Vikings. He's always had a... low opinion of my achievements. He has an inclination to claim a great victory or daring escape as due entirely to his prowess as a warrior, when it was _actually_ my magic that allowed us to accomplish the feat," he said.

Darcy rested a comforting hand on Loki's shoulder. "Hey," she said softly. "Do you ever dress like this?" she asked, indicating the picture in the book. "Not that you don't look _great_ in jeans and a T, because you _do_," she added. "You _really_ do."

Loki chuckled at Darcy's compliment and the illustrated representation. "You saw the clothes I was wearing when I arrived," he pointed out. "That is more the fashion of Asgard. Illustrations of us in the literature of Midgard tend to be in the fashions of the Vikings solely because they are who Thor presented us to as gods. I _do_ have a horned helmet though, if that's what you were asking, though it looks nothing like that."

"Cool," Darcy said with a smile.

"Erik, you're the one who's always pushing me to chase down every possibility, every alternative," Jane pressed, getting them back on topic.

"I'm talking about _science_," Erik countered, "not magic."

"Well, magic's just science we don't understand yet," Jane said desperately. "Arthur C. Clarke. Remember? We had this conversation."

Erik sighed.

"Well if there _is_ an Einstein-Rosen Bridge then there's _something_ on the other side and advanced beings could have _crossed_ it!"

"Jane," Erik said with a sigh.

"A primitive culture like the Vikings would see advanced science _as_ magic," Darcy offered, "and so could have worshipped them as deities."

"Yes!" Jane exclaimed. "Exactly! Thank you Darcy."

"You're welcome."

"Am _I_ not evidence enough?" Loki asked Selvig gently. "You saw me arrive through the Bifrost."

Erik sighed again, tiredly.

~oOo~

"Agent Coulson," Loki greeted with a smile, Darcy at his side. "I believe you have my brother."

"And you are?"

"Loki Odinson," he answered. "I believe you know the lady at my side, or someone in your organisation does."

"Can I have my ipod back please? I don't see how my playlists could have anything to do with a potential security threat," Darcy said plainly. "And I'm sure by now you've found the files I'd encrypted on there for Shield anyway."

Agent Coulson chuckled. "Alright Miss Lewis," he said, and pulled the device out of his own jacket pocket. "And yes, we have. Thank you. Mr Odinson, could _you_ tell me where your brother received his training?"

"The halls of Asgard," Loki answered. "If you would like, I will talk to him, you can stand behind a two-way mirror, or in the corner where he won't see you, or watch from a video camera. Miss Foster has decided to become emotionally invested however, and Erik is determined to have a parental sort of _word_ with Thor."

Agent Coulson considered Loki for a moment as he stood there, and the agent on the computer at his side pulled up what he could on Loki Odinson.

"Sir."

Coulson checked what had been pulled up, then turned back to Loki and nodded.

"Miss Lewis, you will wait with me while we watch Mr Odinson speak with his brother," Agent Coulson instructed.

Darcy smirked, but saluted, and they both followed Agent Coulson into the complex to see Thor.

"Brother," Thor greeted with surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"What I _always_ seem to be doing," Loki said. "Coming to _your_ rescue. I will have you know that I was _sorely_ tempted to _not_ this time," he added firmly.

"I could not lift Mjolnir," Thor said, clearly despondent.

"I _had_ noticed," Loki quipped. "Father banished you for a _reason_, Thor. Much as he loves you, he's still a king _first_ and a father _second_. He _has_ to be, in order to rule well. Still, he loves you and made a way for you to return to Asgard."

Thor looked up hopefully.

"Don't look at me like that," Loki said with a scoff. "All I know is that you must be 'worthy', but Father's standard of worth, which you clearly do _not_ fulfil now or you could have lifted Mjolnir without issue."

Thor sagged in his seat.

"Mother came through the Bifrost earlier," Loki revealed.

Thor's gaze snapped up again.

"She's left already. Father has passed into the Odinsleep. She maintains your banishment, and will not see you because of it. She said that it was too painful to see her banished son. She asked _me_, Thor, if _I_ would take the throne of Asgard until Father awakens," Loki said, his frown deep.

"Then... why are you still here?" Thor asked, confused.

Loki scoffed. "I never wanted to be king," he answered, "and I want it even less _now_."

"I do not understand," Thor said.

"And likely you never will," Loki answered. "Because you never _try_ to understand. You never consider the consequences of your actions, nor try to empathise with others, to consider why they act the way they do. Get up. I have permission from Agent Coulson to take you back to Miss Foster's lab."

Thor nodded, shoulders weighed down by the burden of care, as he slowly followed behind Loki through the halls of the construction around the site. As they walked away, Thor collected the book that Jane had been taking notes in at breakfast in the diner that morning. It was all he could rescue for her, and he _had_ told her he would bring back to her what he could.

Thor wasn't exactly a skilled thief though, nor good at subtlety, so the property reclamation was hidden by Loki's magic – after all, _he'd_ noticed the action. The thing was to trick anybody looking into believing they _hadn't_.

Erik was waiting for them with the van by the road.

"You kids go have a good time," he advised Loki and Darcy as he took hold of Thor's arm.

"Where are we going?" Thor asked.

"To get a drink," Erik answered firmly.

"Erik doesn't hold his drink well," Darcy said softly to Loki.

"I will make no comment on Thor's ability. I do not know how much being mortal will affect his ability to remain sober," Loki replied. "Where would you like to go?"

"Middle of Nowhere doesn't really have a lot of options," Darcy admitted. "How about the roof of the lab, and you can teach me about magic?"

Loki smiled, and they vanished.

~oOo~

"I didn't get to say it before, but apparating? That's cool," Darcy said happily when they re-appeared on top of the roof of the lab.

Loki smiled. "But, as in Potterverse, _not_ something you learn when just beginning," he countered fondly. "And I'm afraid you haven't enough of an affinity for magic for me to teach you _that_."

"You've read the Potter books?" Darcy asked.

Loki nodded. "Though I don't think much of Ms Rowling's epilogue to the last book. I would have been much happier _not_ being told what became of who. Knowing they had won would have been enough for me."

Darcy nodded. "Totally with you on that one," she agreed. "So, do I learn how to make a feather float first? Turn a match-stick into a needle?" she asked with a smile.

Loki laughed at the joke. "No," he said. "I don't have any feathers or matches with me, after all. Something more useful. How to re-coil your taser."

"Ha!" Darcy cried happily, throwing her head back to get full expression of the sound. "Thank you! Yes, that's the _best_!" she said, delighted as her eyes danced and she beamed back at Loki. "Um, but that would require me discharging it."

Loki smiled and created a clone of magic. "There you go," he said. "A target."

"That won't hurt you, will it?" Darcy asked, even as she took out her taser.

Loki (both of him) shook his head. "I use this trick frequently when faced with an enemy. I create a clone of magic over my form, teleport a short distance away, and watch my foe go _through_ the clone. Most recently, that was through my clone and off the side of a cliff. They're also good for sending messages, as they are capable of speech, and I _can_ make them solid enough to ride a horse or bear a peace offering if such things are necessary."

"If you say so," Darcy said, and fired her taser.

It went right through the clone, just as Loki had said it would.

"Now," Loki said, and wrapped his hands around Darcy's shoulders, standing behind her and whispering instructions in her ear. "Close your eyes, and focus on the taser in your hand."

When Darcy had closed her eyes, Loki continued.

"You know it. It has been your weapon for some time, so it knows you as well. The wires know how to be curled in place for launching. Remind them of that through the connection you have with your weapon. There is no incantation. I use my hands to tug at the universe, bending small parts of it to my will to make changes. The taser is _yours_, and already bends to your will, altering at the slight twitch of your fingertips. Now, with another, different pull, you will undo what you have done, calling back your weapon to its ready state." Loki smiled. "Open your eyes," he whispered.

Darcy opened her eyes and dropped her jaw. The wires of her taser were now no longer stretched across the roof. She took her finger off the trigger and turned it around, looking at it more closely, gaping the whole time.

"I did it?" she asked.

"You did," Loki confirmed.

"I did it!" Darcy cheered, and threw her arms around Loki happily. "Thank you!"

Loki chuckled, wrapping his arms around Darcy as well. "You're welcome. With practice, it will come more easily. You are fortunate, Lady Darcy, to have enough of a spark for magic as to be able to learn some of the easier skills."

Darcy beamed back at him. "And I've got a _great_ teacher," she said with a smile.

For a while, they just repeated the lesson. Darcy would fire her taser and then reset it by her will, getting a little faster at it each time, getting the _hang_ of it a little more each repeat. When Darcy was satisfied with her progress, they moved off to sit on the edge of the roof.

Darcy shivered and crossed her arms under her boobs, tucking her hands into her armpits.

Loki conjured his coat, the one he'd been worn to Jotunheim and still been wearing when he landed on Midgard, and draped it over her shoulders. "That should help," he said.

Darcy smiled up at him. Loki was taller than her, even sitting down. They were closer to the same height, but there was still a difference. "Thank you," she said quietly, and slipped her arms into the sleeves happily, tugging the coat properly around her. "Oop! Looks like Erik had too much," Darcy observed, pointing to where Thor was carrying the old scientists over his shoulder.

Loki chuckled as they watched Thor enter the trailer, and then they watched Thor exit again in Jane's company.

"They'll come up here," Darcy said with a sigh. "Jane comes up here a _lot_. When she can't sleep, when she's having problems with her data, when she's hiding from me and my need to make her eat properly..."

Loki chuckled. "Shall I hide us?" he suggested. "I can make it so that they will not see us, but we shall still be able to see them."

Darcy smiled. "Sounds like fun," she agreed.

Jane got a fire going in the portable fire-pit next to the deck-chairs, and proceeded to admit to Thor just how often she came up to the roof. And then she admitted that she was glad Thor was safe.

"You have been very kind... to me... I... I have been far less grateful than you deserve," Thor replied.

Loki's eyebrows shot up. That talk with Selvig must have had an impact. Or maybe it was Loki telling him that their mother could not bare to look at him while he was banished. Maybe it was both piled on top of each other. Thor was learning to be humble. A moment for the history books.

Loki smiled to himself. He would make sure it was written down.

"Well, I did hit you with my car, so I think that kinda evens things out," Jane offered, and they both chuckled at the weak humour.

"Perhaps I had it coming," Thor suggested, and then he pulled out the note-book he'd swiped on the way out of the Shield encampment.

"Oh my god," Jane said, a reflex exclamation when she saw the book, and quickly took hold of it, a smile spreading across her face. "I don't believe it," she said happily.

"It was all I could get back," he said. "I'm sorry it's not as much as I promised."

"No, no, this is _great_!" Jane answered, thumbing through the pages of her notes. "This is... I don't have to start from _scratch_ now!" she cheered quietly. "Thank you," she added, more softly, truly sincere. And then melancholy visibly hit her as she stared at her pages.

So visibly that even Thor noticed. Or perhaps he was improving.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Shield, whatever they are," Jane answered. "They're gonna do everything in their power to make sure this research never sees the light of day."

"No, Jane," Thor said, shifting closer to her on his deck-chair. "Listen to me, you must _not_ give up. You must finish what you've started."

"Why?"

"Because you're right," Thor informed her earnestly. "Here, look," he said, taking her book back and flicking through the pages, turning the book on its side as he claimed the pen from her as well. "Your ancestors called it magic, and you call it science. Well I come from a place where they're one and the same thing."

Loki marvelled at Thor holding a vaguely scholarly conversation without botching it completely, and Darcy, at his side, marvelled at two attractive people having a romantic tête-à-tête over _science_. Normal people wouldn't call that romance, but Darcy _knew_ Jane Foster. This, for her, was about as romantic as it got: an attractive man she was hot for talking science to her under the stars they were talking about, while sitting _very_ close together by an open fire and smiling those besotted smiles at each other every few seconds.

"Hey Loki?" Darcy asked softly. "Have you ever done something like that with a woman in Asgard?"

"Lady Darcy, apart from my mother, no woman of Asgard would bear my company so freely or let me so near," Loki answered. "I have no opportunity there to do as Thor is doing now with Miss Foster."

"What?" Darcy nearly yelped. "No way. No _frikken_ way. Why?"

Loki shrugged. "I live in my brother's shadow. I am only friends with the Lady Sif and the Warriors Three because they are friends of my brother. They never really cared for my company, except when my magic was useful to them in battle, and that was quickly forgotten, even by Thor."

"Right," Darcy said with a soft sigh. "So, no girlfriend to go back to?"

Loki chuckled, a little sadly. "No," he answered. "Nobody in Asgard, save my mother."

Darcy smiled. "I didn't get to talk to her much, but I get the feeling your mother's awesome," she said.

Loki smiled back. "I quite agree. For now though, I need some time away from the glory of Asgard and the love of my parents. Do you think you can withstand my company for a while longer?"

Darcy giggled. "Sounds great," she decided, and snuggled up against Loki's side.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Loki was further surprised. Thor, his elder brother, the arrogant, ungrateful, proud _git_ himself... was being servile and domestic.

"Lady Jane, I congratulate you," Loki said.

"On what?" she asked with a confused but flattered smile and slight giggle in her words.

"In less than two days you have made Thor into a better man than _centuries_ of tutors," Loki answered.

"Brother," Thor groaned.

"Well it's true," Loki countered cheekily. "Here you are, being _helpful_, thinking of the comfort of people _other_ than yourself. What has become of your usual arrogance, ingratitude and thoughtlessness?"

Thor frowned. "Was I really so horrible, Brother?" he asked.

"Yes," Loki answered, though not without compassion in his expression. "Some of us are warriors and some just do tricks, you said to me on the day of your coronation. That was _hurtful_, Thor. My 'tricks' have saved your life before. Have saved _my_ life, for that matter, which I hold at least as dearly as I hold yours, though there have been many times I doubted you felt the same of me. You also said that I was _incapable_ of sincerity, which was also unkind of you, to say nothing of being a gross falsehood."

"Why did you say nothing?" Thor asked. "All these years -"

"You would not have listened," Loki cut in simply. "If it was not praise for your triumphs or suggestions for adventure, you rarely listened to a word spoken in your presence. I speak now because I can see that you _are_, at last, willing to listen."

"I am sorry, Brother," Thor said, genuinely, as he cupped Loki's face in his hands. "I will, I swear, do better."

Loki nodded. "Do you remember the day our father took us to see the Casket of Winter? The lesson he taught us that day? A wise king does not..." he started, and looked pointedly at Thor, inviting him to finish that lesson.

"A wise king does not seek war," Thor said, "but he is always ready for it. I... sought war. Father was ready, was always ready if Asgard was invaded... the Destroyer killed the Frost Giants that reached the vault before they could take anything..."

Loki nodded. "Do you understand now _why_ our father banished you?" he asked gently.

Thor nodded, his eyes lowered.

"Then you are that much closer to being able to return home," Loki comforted.

Thor gave a quick, grateful smile. "Thank you, my brother."

"The eggs are done," Jane announced, breaking the tension and inviting everybody to have their breakfasts.

~oOo~

Thor and Loki were doing the washing up after breakfast while Jane discussed scientific theories with Erik – Darcy right there with them taking notes.

"It's a beautiful theory," Erik said at last as Loki put the last of the dishes on the rack for Thor to dry and pulled the plug on the sink. "But you're not going to be able to convince the scientific community without _hard evidence_," he added firmly as Thor dried said last dish.

There was a knock then on the glass doors of the lab and a familiar voice called out "Found you!"

Thor and Loki both snapped around to see four _very_ familiar faces.

Erik dropped his mug. It shattered.

The four very familiar faces let themselves in as Loki waved his hand to repair the mug and Thor set aside the cloth he had been drying with to greet them.

"My friends!" Thor greeted happily. "This is good!" he declared as he embraced Volstagg. "This is good, this is good!" he continued happily, moving on to then embrace Hogun. Fandral was only embraced by women if he could help it, and no man held Sif close unless she was gravely injured or expressly permitted it, though Loki thought Thor might have been able to get away with such expressions just then.

"I don't believe it," Erik said softly.

"Neither do I," Loki offered. "Hogun _never_ smiles."  
"Which one's Hogun?" Darcy asked in a whisper.

"Jackie Chan," Loki murmured lowly back.

"Gotcha."

"Oh, excuse me," Volstagg said, bowing in greeting to the others present. "The Lady Sif and the Warriors Three."

"Volstagg, welcome," Loki said. "It is good to see you well. Your injury from Jotunheim, it is healed I hope?"

"Loki," Volstagg breathed, surprised. "I did not recognise you. Yes, it is healed. Thank you for asking."

Loki huffed in amusement. They forget his face after a mere two days. He was not surprised. Hurt a little, but not surprised. "I'd guessed," he said wryly. "And I am glad to hear such tidings. Lady Sif," he greeted with a bow. "May I present to you Erik Selvig, a scholar of the stars, the Lady Jane Foster, a scholar of the stars and the woman who has taught my brother the _much_ needed lesson of humility -"

"Loki," Thor said.

"Do not deny it," Loki quipped back.

"I wasn't going to," Thor answered. "But you did not have to _say_ it."

Loki chuckled. "Of course I did, I _am_ your brother after all. I'm sure pointing out your faults is one of my sworn duties. It is only in recent times you bother to listen."

Thor chuckled, but his eyes were sad.

"And finally may I present the Lady Darcy Lewis, a student of politics, who defeated the mighty Thor when he came to Midgard," Loki finished with a flourish, capturing her hand once more and bringing it to his lips.

"This tiny mortal _bested_ the mighty Thor?" Fandral asked, clearly incredulous. "How?"

"Would you like a demonstration?" Darcy asked, eyebrow raised pointedly. "It would _work_ on him, right?" she asked Loki. "Because I know Thor didn't have all his godly powers when I hit him."

Loki smiled. "Fandral might be wearing too much armour, but if you hit him somewhere less armoured, I'm sure he'd get the idea," he offered, also offering her taser. It had been on the kitchen table, and it hadn't been anything to summon it to his hand.

Darcy's smile was devious as she palmed her weapon of choice. "Any objections?"

"Only to it being pointed at _me_ again," Thor answered, not moving from his position beside Hogun,as far as he could get from Fandral.

"Um... You know what? I can go without a demonstration," Fandral decided. "I'll take your word for it."

"A wise choice," Loki said with a smirk. "Are _you_ healed Fandral? Your chest was pierced in Jotunheim, was it not?"

"It was, and I am. 'Twas nothing to the healers of Asgard. Volstagg's injury was the slower to heal of the two," Fandral answered.

"My friends, it it good to see you all again," Thor said, "but what are you doing here?"

"We're here to take you home," Fandral answered, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"On who's orders?" Thor asked. "I know that my mother was here and did not then wish to see me. I was banished for a reason. I understand that and am learning from my banishment. I thank you for your consideration but... I will not go back with you until I can raise Mjolnir again. I will not break my father's edict again."

"You... cannot raise Mjolnir?" Sif asked, shocked.

"He cannot even lift it from where it landed," Loki supplied. "He tried. It wouldn't budge. I was there still when the Allfather banished Thor, as none of you were. Thor may be restored to Asgard when he is worthy of wielding Mjolnir once more. Not a moment sooner."

"Still, your company is welcome, as it always is," Thor said with a smile.

"Ok, your outfits are awesome, so I'm gonna just take a picture if that's alright?" Darcy asked as she handed her taser back to Loki and pulled out her phone to aim at the new arrivals instead.

"Please direct your attention to the small circle in the corner," Loki said, indicating the lens of the camera in Darcy's phone.

A click, and a "thank you" from Darcy, a little bit of tapping, and the image was on its way to Agent Coulson (who had confirmed to her that he was the one she sent things to while Loki had been talking with Thor at the Shield base around Mjolnir).

"So, you guys are from Asgard? Came by the Bifrost, right?" Darcy asked with a smile.

"Darcy, don't tell me you actually _believe_ -" Erik protested.  
"What? I study _political_ science," Darcy said. "Not astrophysics. I don't have to question the validity of their claim. The questions _I_ should be asking are what sort of government system do they have in place and what sort of policies they have for stuff. Wormholes? Those I can believe in with all the faith of a hard-core nerd and geek."

"Benevolent dictatorship," Loki supplied. "Odin Allfather is our king. While he sleeps, his queen Frigga Odinswife is our ruler. I cannot answer questions on policy until you get more specific than 'stuff'," he added with a smile.

"How _is_ my mother?" Thor asked softly. "And the situation with Jotunheim?"

"She is alone," Sif answered solemnly. "The Allfather still rests within the Odinsleep and both of her sons are on Midgard, but the Jotuns do not attack us, which is some good news."

~oOo~

Since Shield had taken essentially everything from the lab that had been used for research, when Loki suggested the warriors of Asgard test Thor's new limits as a warrior, and _Darcy_ expressed a desire to record the sparring session, Loki vanished down to the store to buy a few things as soon as there was a general agreement.

Things like a digital video camera and a laptop.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Jane asked Loki as Darcy set up the camera on the tripod Loki had also bought.

"Miss Foster, you _saw_ my brother as he fought to reach Mjolnir last night, did you not?" Loki countered.

Jane nodded.

"I assure you, they do this all the time," Loki comforted. "Thor's mortal state means only that his win is _less_ assured than usual, which, much like his failure to lift Mjolnir, will go some way to helping humble him. I admit, _I_ would like to see how deep the change in my brother is. He has never taken losing _well_ in the past. It will be an interesting sight to see, whether Thor is able to best his friends still, or how he reacts to his loss should it occur."

Jane nodded again in understanding, though the expression on her face said she was clearly still not entirely happy about the whole thing, and went to sit beside Erik.

"Camera's ready," Darcy announced. "Hey, Loki? Are you going to join in the fight too?"

"Loki? _Fight_? Ha!" Fandral exclaimed, a mocking smile on his face. "The younger son of Odin is not a warrior as the elder son is."

"If you were my brother, and Loki not, then _he_ would be able to say such a thing of _you_," Thor informed Fandral solemnly. "I did cast a very large shadow in the training fields."

Fandral blinked and frowned, not at all sure what to make of that. Thor had never stood up for Loki's ability before. He was used to his friend laughing at his quip and joining in teasing his brother.

"Rules?" Hogan called.

"The usual ones," Thor answered with a grin.

"The _usual_ ones?" Jane echoed softly.

"One on one, nothing fatal or that cannot be fixed, it ends when one yields to the other," Loki supplied. "If you had a marked ring, then they would add that if one of them is pushed from that ring, they automatically forfeit."

"Who will fight first?" Volstagg asked.

"Ladies first?" Darcy asked hopefully, turning to Sif with a smile.

Sif smiled back and stepped out in front of the camera.

Darcy recorded five minutes of sparring between Thor and the Lady Sif before the latter won, dumping Thor on his back and keeping him there with the threat of her spear at his throat.

"I yield," Thor coughed out. "I am winded, and I think I cracked my head when you felled me, Lady Sif."

"No easy thing to do," Loki quipped as Sif helped Thor to his feet once more. "But if you are not feeling well from your first bout, you should not have another three, Brother."

"Aye," Thor agreed, taking a seat beside Jane. "Perhaps you will go a round with Fandral, Brother?"

"Ding, round two!" Darcy cheered at the idea.

Loki stood, and with a gesture the green long-sleeved t-shirt and black jeans he had worn to fit in with Midgard fashions became his leather and armour of Asgard.

"Aww," Darcy whined. "Loki, come on! I mean, it looks absolutely _awesome_ and all, but -"

"But you would rather I fight without my shirt on at all," Loki finished with a chuckle. "Well, to please a Lady," he deferred, and twitched his hand again.

"Dude, the pictures you have on facebook do _not_ do you justice," Darcy said as her eyes raked over Loki's bared torso.

She wasn't the only one looking either. Where Thor had been _extremely_ well muscled, but _softly_ defined ("pretty cut" in Darcy's words), Loki's muscles were _very_ well defined. Not as bulging, but _much_ more defined. Lady Sif, the Warriors Three, and even Thor were expressing surprised confusion at Loki's musculature.

"Shirtless is a good look for you Loki," Jane commented.

Thor's head whipped around to the woman at his side.

"It's a good look for you too," she told him softly with a smile as she laced her fingers with his.

Thor smiled back and brought their linked hands up between them so that he could kiss the back of Jane's.

"Fandral," Loki called. "Are you having second thoughts?"

"Nay!" he asserted quickly. "I still say you are not a warrior," he said, as he joined Loki in front of the video camera and waited for the word to begin.

Loki then proceeded to knock Fandral on his backside and have a blade at each his throat _and_ groin within ten seconds.

"Yield," Fandral whimpered.

Volstagg, Thor, and Darcy all roared with laughter, Jane giggled, Sif and Erik chuckled, and Hogun stood to face Loki next.

This bout was longer. Both warriors were wary of the others skill, and neither as arrogantly sure of their win as Fandral had been. It finally ended ten minutes later with Hogun's face pressed to the dirt, Loki with a knee on his back and a knife to the warrior's throat.

"Yield," Hogan called.

Loki rose, and offered his hand to Hogan when he rolled off his chest. "A good fight," he said.

Hogan nodded. "I thank you, my Prince."

"Must be my turn," Volstagg said happily, pushing himself up from his seat. "Or do you want time to rest before you are ready for another bout?"

"I am not yet sweating," Loki answered with a smirk as he brushed the dust from his black jeans.

Volstagg laughed, but his fight with Loki was shorter than Hogun's. Still, it was not as short as Fandral's, which was something.

"You have used none of your usual tricks in your bouts today, my Prince," Sif commented as she rose.

"There was some doubt as to my skill as a warrior," Loki pointed out dryly. "I hope they have been put to rest?"

"You have not bested _me_ yet," she answered with a smile.

Loki bowed gracefully, inviting her to spar, and Darcy checked that the camera was still recording – it was.

The fight between Sif and Loki lasted the longest of all, and Loki several times caught Sif in a hold that had seen Fandral, Hogan, and Volstagg yield. She rather fought back or slipped from his grasp and kept fighting. Ultimately though, Loki _was_, again, the victor.

"At least _I_ got you to break a _sweat_," Sif said as she took Loki's offered hand and stood, claiming a sort of consolation prize.

Loki just smirked back at her and walked over to Darcy's side.

"So... You're _completely_ awesome, _totally_ ripped, a _kick-ass_ fighter, _and_ a nice guy?" she asked rhetorically. "Is two days too fast to fall in love?" she asked quietly.

Loki smiled. "We _have_ spent an _inordinate_ amount of time in each other's company," he allowed. "Still, I will leave Thor be the one to fall in love so quickly. I am more cautious with my heart."

Darcy pouted.

"Think it could go viral?" Loki asked softly, gesturing from the camera to the laptop.

"Oh yeah," Darcy answered, and quickly loaded the footage onto the laptop. Loki watched over her shoulder as she emailed the video file to Shield before she set to editing it, giving it a sound-track, and finally uploaded it to YouTube. During that time, Thor took Jane and Erik to the Bifrost site to farewell the Lady Sif and the Warriors Three.

"River Tam, eat your heart out," Darcy said with a quiet giggle as the video finished loading.

Loki chuckled. "Oh, I think River Tam would constitute a challenge. She did take on all those Reavers after all," he pointed out.

"Have I mentioned that it's totally cool how you get all my pop-culture references?" Darcy asked happily. "Hey! When did you put your shirt back on!?"


	5. Chapter 5

It was a measly ten minutes after sending Shield the video file that one of their shiny black cars (and really, who drives a _black_ car in the New Mexico _desert_? _Really_?) and a shiny black _van_ rolled up to the labs.

Jane, Thor and Erik weren't back yet. They probably hadn't even _reached_ the Bifrost site yet. It _was_ a fair way out of town after all.

"Agent Coulson," Loki greeted. "This _is_ a surprise. How are you?"

"I'm well, thank you. We got your video, Miss Lewis. Mr Odinson, I'd like confirmation that those were friendlies?" Agent Coulson asked.

Loki nodded. "My brother's best friends," he answered. "They came to take him back to Asgard against orders. I was never more proud of Thor than when he told them he could not return with them. Just yesterday I am certain he would have gone, consequences be damned. You're about ten minutes late to meet them though, they have left for the Bifrost site to return to Asgard."

"That's very interesting," Coulson said, in a tone of voice that said he didn't really care but would more than likely have that written down in Thor's personality profile later. "But I'm _more_ interested, Mr Odinson, in _you_."

"Me?" Loki asked with an innocent, intrigued smile.

"You," Coulson confirmed. "We've done our research. Your work from your previous visits to Earth is most impressive, and based on that alone Shield was interested in you. You've just been very hard to find until now. Miss Lewis' video showed that you were skilled in close combat as well. I'd like to know how you compare with a ranged weapon, find out just _how_ well rounded you are."

"Compare?" Loki asked, intrigued. "Compare to who?"

"Me," another man answered, as he stepped up behind Agent Coulson.

"Mr Odinson, Miss Lewis, this is Agent Barton," Coulson said, performing the introductions.

"Codename Hawkeye, call me Clint," he offered, extending his hand to shake.

"Loki," Loki said, grasping it firmly. "Pleased to meet you, Clint."

"You have _very_ nice arms," Darcy offered with a smile as she eyed the appendages in question – which were displayed _very_ nicely by his sleeveless kevlar and leather vest.

Clint chuckled. "My girlfriend thinks so too," he answered with a smile.

"Hey, I can appreciate the view, _regardless_ of your relationship status, if you're going to continue to show it off like that," Darcy quipped back.

"I'll leave you young people to get acquainted," Agent Coulson said. "Agent Barton, keep me posted."

"You got it Boss," Clint answered with a nod.

And then there were three: Loki, Darcy, and Clint. And the shiny black van.

"Want to see the toys Shield lets me play with?" Clint offered.

Darcy and Loki _both_ grinned with gleeful anticipation.

There was an entire armoury in the van. It didn't stay there long. Loki and Darcy were more than happy to help Clint take the many various weapons up to the roof of the lab and set them up for target practice. The targets were supplied by Loki – more clones of magic. They were aiming down from the roof anyway, so all bullets (and arrows) would only end in the ground if they missed, and the clone would waver if 'injured' and vanish if 'killed', so they were very useful for this exercise.

"I didn't think people on Midgard still _used_ these," Loki commented as he picked up a bow.

Clint smiled. "It's my favourite weapon," he answered. "I'll be getting special heads for my arrows soon. I'll be able to fire all sorts of little incendiaries, grappling hooks, even drugged arrows. I can hardly wait."

Loki chuckled. "What's your range?"

"Every weapon has its own maximum range," Clint said. "You can overcome some of that by being an awesome shot, but there's still limits. With _that_ bow, in ideal conditions, I can pit the ace at four-hundred feet, no problem. It's just an off-the-shelf compound bow though, my custom make _should_ let me fire as far as a full mile from ground level, if they don't mess with my designs too much."

"Impressive," Loki complimented.

Clint smirked, and the impromptu shooting competition began – with Darcy getting an equally impromptu lesson in how to shoot some _very_ big guns, which she was _completely_ thrilled with.

~oOo~

"Science van at nine o'clock," Clint announced. "ETA, I'd say about fifteen minutes. Time to pack it in."

"What?!" Darcy whined. "But -!" she checked her watch. "We've only gotten to play with the pretty weapons for, like, three hours!"

Loki and Clint both chuckled.

"Sorry Darce," Clint said with a smile, "but I don't want to explain to Miss Foster why Shield is teaching her intern how to use a sniper rifle."

"Among other things," Loki interjected with a smirk as he emptied the gun in his hands of ammunition, turned the safety back on, and cleaned it quickly.

"Among other things," Clint agreed with a matching smirk of his own and a nod as he continued to pack up the guns they'd used and collect the spent shell casings that had accumulated around them.

Darcy pouted, but got to work as well. She didn't want to explain to _either_ of the astrophysicists about this little get-together with a Shield agent on the roof of the lab.

They managed to get the van loaded and the lab cleared of weapon-stuffs (including collecting up all the arrows. Loki and Clint had taken turns using up all the arrows the Shield agent had brought along. Darcy just watched, enjoying the way their muscles flexed when they drew the bow back) before Jane pulled in with _her_ van.

"What are you doing here?" Jane asked as she swung out of the driver seat – just as Clint was about to hop up into his.

Clint smirked. "Interviewing your intern for a job in Shield," he answered, and swung up into the driver's seat of the van. He closed the door behind him with a snap, the engine roared to life, and with a wave, he took off into the dust-cloud.

"What?" Jane asked flatly, turning her attention to Darcy.

Loki chuckled and stepped up. "He was actually interviewing _me_," he said. "Shield apparently already found the video Lady Darcy posted on the internet, and are interested in recruiting me to their cause."

Thor frowned. "You... said no, didn't you, Brother?" he asked. "You are a Prince of Asgard... and they _did_ take the Lady Jane's equipment..."

Loki sighed. "I like it on Midgard," he admitted. "Though I am not certain about Shield at this point in time. I shall need to think on it."

"You're not really going to -" Jane started to ask softly.

"I shall need to think on it," Loki repeated firmly. "But the day is young, and I believe, Lady Jane, you have a theory to present to the scientific community?"

Jane smiled back. "Can I use your laptop for a while?" she asked.

"Of course," Loki answered. "And, uh, teach _Thor_ how to use it while you're at it," he suggested with a smile.

Jane giggled, looked up at Thor, and he smiled back with the expression of one willing to learn. Oh, what their tutors would have given to see that expression on his face _centuries_ ago!

~oOo~

"Shield was really trying to sell you a recruitment pitch?" Erik asked as he, Darcy and Loki worked on lunch. His expression was one of concern, not doubt.

"Yes," Loki answered solemnly.

"Did that agent talk to you about the sort of things that Shield does?" Erik asked.

"A bit, yes," Loki admitted. "Neutralising threats, guarding important secrets, tracking potentially dangerous individuals, sponsoring certain scientific advancements..."

For the second time that day, there was a knock on the glass door of the lab as Thor cleaned the meal dishes. This time, however, it was Agent Coulson. And he had all of Jane's equipment with him.

"Miss Foster," he said by way of greeting. "Shield has finished its investigation of the potential threat. The part that we needed your records, equipment and atmospheric data for, at any rate. We would like to thank you, again, for your co-operation. I do apologise though, it seems we misplaced your journal."

"_I_ apologise, Agent Coulson," Loki interjected with a smile. "I _may_ have had something to do with that when I collected my brother from your custody."

Agent Coulson smiled back. "I had guessed it might be something like that," he admitted. "Shield _will_ still be present in the area. There's the hammer that won't budge for anybody, and we _are_ very interested in your research, Miss Foster. If you need funding, or extra labour, you let us know," Coulson said, offering her his card. "There will of course be all sorts of red tape to sort through at any request, but we are fairly efficient, for a shadowy government security agency."

Jane smiled as she accepted the card. "Thank you," she said.

"I second that," Thor said, wrapping an arm around Jane's shoulders and sharing her smile. "You may count me as your ally for this, Son of Coul, doing that which is right by returning Miss Foster's property to her."

Coulson gave a tight little smile at that. "There will need to be a debriefing," he said. "To properly wrap up the investigation. Leaving loose ends is unprofessional after all. Is there somewhere here we can do that, or should the debriefing be held at the crater site?"

"Can it wait until I've made sure all my equipment is alright?" Jane asked.

"Of course," Coulson allowed. "But that could take a while, so perhaps a lunch conference tomorrow?"

"Sounds good," Jane agreed with a nod, eyes flicking back and forth between Agent Coulson and all his flunky agents that were unloading the metal suitcases that had her equipment in them.

~oOo~

"Hey," Darcy said softly as she joined Loki on the roof again.

Jane was still going strong on re-assembling, double-checking, re-arranging, and triple-checking all her equipment, data and writing the paper she would publish her theory in. Erik was in bed. Thor, bless him, had volunteered to help Jane in any way he could and make sure that she didn't stay out past two in the morning – Darcy had been firm in her instructions that _Jane needed to sleep_. Thor and his charming smile probably had better chances of convincing Jane to head for bed than Darcy and her concerned nagging ever had.

"Couldn't sleep?" Loki asked.

"It's only ten yet," Darcy countered. "Plenty of people still up at this hour. If it gets to midnight, _that's_ when you ask."

Loki chuckled, nodded, and turned back to consider the twinkling of the stars above and the neon lights of the town below.

"I meant to ask, earlier, about something Agent Coulson said, but I got distracted by the big guns and then Jane's equipment being returned..." Darcy started.

"You want to know what other work I've done that caught Shield's attention," Loki guessed softly.

"Yeah," she agreed. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, of course, but... If you _do_ want to talk about it, I'd like to know."

Loki smiled, though he did not turn to face the young woman at his side, focused instead on the horizon, the edge of the world where the darkness of the earth changed to the darkness of the sky. A distance that was difficult to pin down.

"I figure it's probably not the _modelling_ job, however sexy you are in nothing but a pair of Calvin Kliens," Darcy added with a smile of her own.

Loki chuckled. "No, probably not," he agreed, bowing his head and loosely clasping his hands together as he rested the weight of his elbows on his knees. "I'm called the god of _mischief_, Lady Darcy. Granted, I was given this title because no one on Asgard took my magic seriously and I took to using it in minor pranks for revenge on that slight... But I enjoy solving puzzles that I shouldn't be able to, finding things that shouldn't exist to be found, or that nobody else knew existed. I _enjoy_ discovering things, solving problems, finding potential problems and crafting schemes for if they should ever fully manifest..."

"So... you did what?" Darcy asked. "Because you have to have _done_ something to catch Shield's attention."

Loki turned his smile on her. "What did _you_ do?" he asked.

"I hacked a few files I shouldn't have, figured out how to encrypt data into sound files, and wrote a totally _awesome_ paper on why America's system for electing a leader totally _sucks_ compared to certain _other_ democratic nations," Darcy listed off, then smiled back proudly. "And, ya know, I carry a taser."

Loki chuckled. "I... _might_ have patented the blueprints for some Asgardian technology," Loki admitted. "And... _created_ all the documents that are required for a person to exist. Birth certificate, school records, and so on."

"You have a driver's licence?" Darcy asked.

Loki nodded. "I need to get it renewed soon," he said. "I've got a house and a PO box too."

"A _house_?"

Loki nodded.

"Where?"

"Lafayette, California. Between my patents, my modelling, and my stock-broker, I'm practically as well-off on Midgard as I am in Asgard."

"You're a _prince_ in Asgard," Darcy pointed out.

"But I'm more comfortable _here_," Loki countered. "I can be whoever I _want_ to be here, and until _very_ recently, none of my family have been to Midgard for centuries."

"What else do you get up to?" Darcy asked, shuffling a little closer to Loki on the roof's edge.

"Well, I'm an author," Loki said, "though I use a pen-name for my books, and I sometimes get paid to break into secure computers."

"That would be the thing that _really_ caught Shield's interest, along with the alien tech blueprints," Darcy said. "You get _paid_ to be a hacker?"

Loki chuckled. "I am _very_ good. I get paid to test security systems," he answered with a smile.

"Wait, _when_ did you make your birth certificate?" Darcy asked, back-tracking.

Loki smirked. "My _current_ birth certificate on file says I was born on the first of April, in the year nineteen-eighty-one," he answered. "The certificate before that said the twenty-ninth of February, nineteen-seventy-two. I update them every decade or so."

"Right."


	6. Chapter 6

Agent Barton had commandeered Loki's company again – but this time without Darcy and without all the Shield-issue toys. Darcy was with Jane and Erik, earning her six credits, and Thor was with Agent Coulson, discussing Asgard and trying again to lift Mjolnir. Loki had suggested that he keep trying, and consider his character flaws for as long as he continued to fail, though he personally believed his brother was worthy _now_. Still, he'd find out when Thor came back.

Loki, for his part, had been throwing his daggers at a dart-board with one hand while he checked a few things on the internet with his other. Well, he _had_ been until Clint showed up at Loki's chosen picnic table with a six-pack.

"So how many of those crazy stories are true?" Clint asked as he slouched down onto the bench beside Loki.

"All of them have a _base_ in truth, but the extent of truth remaining... Well, that is a different matter. Thor told many tales so that he had more glory than truth would give him, and the tales he told when he was roaring _drunk_... well..." Loki sneered in disgust.

Clint chuckled. "Gotcha. I take it the eight-legged horse is pure myth?"

"No, Sleipnir is actually real," Loki said with a smile. "The fallacy, however, is that _I_ birthed him. I _bred_ the horse for my father, found the finest horses in the nine realms to breed together, and with some of my magic thrown in there were suddenly eight legs to one horse instead of four, and a few other things... It was no stretch at all for Thor to go from saying I _bred_ the horse to saying I _bore_ the horse," Loki explained.

"The wolf?"

"Father keeps wolves. I was permitted a pup from an early litter. I called him Fenris and he _only_ liked me. Another story twisted by my brother while he was drunk."

"The snake?"

"Which one? The Midgard serpent that wraps around your whole planet? He exists, and has been here since before Odin ever came. He is not my child. The snake whose acid venom was dripped into my eyes? This, I am glad to say, hasn't happened yet and is unlikely to," Loki answered. "Are you going to _continue_ to ask about my supposed children?" Loki asked.

Clint smirked back.

Loki sighed. "I have met the sprite who is my supposed wife. She's a sweet, gentle, kind and giving creature... and _utterly_ boring. I would never give her _one_ son, let alone _two_. The very idea of copulating with a Jotun, though I am one myself, is frankly horrifying, and they would feel the same of me, I guarantee it," he said firmly. It was the first time he had ever admitted to being Jotun to anybody who hadn't known first, and he had not flinched over the admission, made as it was to a near total stranger. Still, he knew he could trust Clint to not speak of the matter to Thor. He was fairly sure that they hadn't even officially met yet.

"So, no kids?"

"Not the ones spoken of in mythology."

Clint blinked. "So... you _do_ have kids?"

"One. A daughter," Loki said, a hint of fondness in his tone.

"How old is she?" Clint asked. "Cute little two-year-old?"

Loki chuckled. "You're expecting baby pictures," he said. "You're a few decades late. Margaret died years ago."

Clint winced. "Sorry," he said.

Loki shook his head. "You didn't know," he chuckled. "I _still_ don't know _how_ 'Margaret' became 'Peggy' some time in her teen years."

"Peggy Odinson?" Clint asked.

Laughter roared out of Loki's mouth. "Clint, last names on Asgard do _not_ work the same way they do in the English-speaking countries. They work in a similar way to Russian last names. It would have been Lokisdottir if we followed Asgardian custom, but her mother and I agreed our baby girl would be better off with her mother's name. After all, her mother wasn't becoming Alice Lokiswife either. It was a very progressive thing of the time, having paperwork that implied I took my _wife's_ name. The gentleman at the registration office took one look at 'Loki Odinson' and said he didn't blame me. It was Carter. I believe Margaret may have worked at Shield at one time herself, or at what Shield _used_ to be..."

Clint's eyes went wide with shock. His jaw dropped. For a while, he was silent and doing a credible impression of a dying fish.

"No wonder Director Fury wants to get your measure," he said at last.

Loki smiled.

"Seriously man, how do you deal with all this shit?" Clint asked. "You saw your daughter grow old and die, your brother's a recovering dick, his friends aren't yours but you hang with them anyway, and I get the feeling your dad's a piece of work too."

"I have requisitioned the services of a _series_ of excellent therapists over the decades," Loki answered.

"Yeah?"

Loki nodded. "I was just confirming an appointment when you joined me," he said with a wave at the laptop in front of him.

"Sorry to have interrupted," Clint said, shifting his shoulders uncomfortably.

Loki waved him off. "It's not a problem," he assured the man. "I have new 'daddy issues' to wade through, that's all," he said with a smirk.

Clint chuckled. "'Daddy issues'?" he repeated.

"I won't bore you with the whole list, but I'll go so far as to admit that I also have 'brother issues'," Loki quipped with a small, crooked smile. "As much as I love Thor, there _are_ days when I want nothing more than to use a brick to crack his skull open."

"I know the feeling," Clint commiserated as he finally opened one of the beers he'd brought, silently offering a second one to Loki (who took it, by the way). "I care about my brother – he's my brother, can't really do anything less – but I haven't actually _talked_ to him since I was a teenager. Good chance he's dead or in prison, now that I think about it."

"My sympathies."

Clint nodded, and together they each took a pull of their beers.

Loki then pulled a face. "American beer," he complained. "_Weak_ and _flavourless_."

Clint laughed.

~oOo~

No one noticed that Loki had gone until he returned. And dispelled the clone of magic that had been quietly typing away at Loki's laptop in the lab's kitchen.

"You can be in two places at once?" Jane asked before even Darcy could.

"What she said!" Darcy quipped, looking back and forth from the laptop to Loki.

"Brother, was the deception necessary?" Thor asked with a pointedly raised eyebrow, and a likely unintentionally raised corner of his lips.

"Necessary? No, of course not. Fun? Certainly," Loki answered with a smile. "And useful," he added firmly as he took the place of his clone behind his laptop, scanned what had been written, and then proceeded to continue typing.

Darcy's expression morphed. Her eyebrows came up and together while her eyes went big and a little watery behind her glasses and her lips turned down and pouted slightly. "So jealous of your skills right now," she said in a deliberately pitiful voice.

Loki's smile was appropriately pitying as he reached over to pat her hand consolingly. "I know," he said gently. "But really, it is simply that I am my own secretary. I assign the construct a task to do while I must be elsewhere."

"And where _were_ you?" Erik asked pointedly.

"Visiting a medical professional," Loki answered simply.

"You are not injured, are you Brother?" Thor asked, concerned.

"No," Loki answered with a smile. "Thank you, Brother, for your concern. Truly."

"Then... why were you seeing a doctor?" Jane asked.

Loki smiled. "She's my granddaughter," he answered.

Darcy fell off her chair and gaped up at Loki from the floor.

Erik dropped his coffee mug again.

Thor and Jane both looked like they'd been slapped with a fish.

"Have we come at a bad time?" Agent Coulson asked as he entered the lab building, Clint walking just behind his right shoulder.

"Not at all, Agent Coulson," Loki answered with a wave. "They're all just shocked that my granddaughter is in the medical profession. Or perhaps shocked that I _have_ a granddaughter."

"The latter," Jane offered.

"Definitely the latter," Darcy quipped.

"Brother..."

"Because you were more interested in being recognised as the greatest warrior in the nine realms than what I was up to, and I honestly didn't _want_ you to know about the life I had beyond Asgard," Loki said, pre-empting Thor's question. "Midgard has long been my place of retreat and solace when I could no longer bear the company of _anybody_ on Asgard."

Clint frowned. "What happened?" he asked.

"My daughter gave a handsome young captain a send-off before he had to leave her for the war-effort," he said. "I was with her through the pregnancy, since her captain wasn't even aware that the send-off had left her in the family way. When he didn't come back, I got to help raise _another_ beautiful baby girl into a wonderful woman."

"Good to know, but I meant with your psychologist appointment," Clint said. "You were making an appointment with your therapist last time I saw you."

"My granddaughter _is_ my psychologist," Loki answered. "For our sessions I use magic to look different, so she can maintain professionalism in her office. Then we go to lunch with me looking like myself and she tells me about how things are going in _her_ life. Lady Darcy, _do_ get off the floor. Also, I advise you all to close your mouths before something flies into them," he said calmly, not at all distracted from his typing.

Darcy grabbed the seat of the chair she'd fallen off of and hauled herself back into it. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that you're someone's _granddad_," she said. "You told me you didn't have anyone on Asgard..."

"This is true. My wife Alice was human. I courted her a full five years before asking her to marry me, which was the proper way of doing things at the time. Then the wars started up, and I was left to raise my daughter on my own after a bombing in London caught Alice on her way back from the shops. Brother, I really _do_ recommend connubial inclination and fatherhood for improving your character and evening your temperament. Just don't try to be a king at the same time. _Our_ father has proven that the two do not mix well."

_That_ finally got Thor and Jane to both shut their mouths. With an audible _click_ even before they whipped around to stare at each other with wide, shocked eyes.

"Someone check the calendar and _please_ tell me that it's April Fool's Day," Erik said softly.

"Sorry Erik," Darcy said. "It's May. You said you had a house in California."

"And I do. A hundred years ago, however, I had a house in London instead," Loki answered. "Agent Coulson, Agent Barton, may I ask what brings both of you here?"

"Debriefing over lunch," the man answered.

"Ah, of course."


	7. Chapter 7

The debriefing took two hours, including chewing time because by then _Erik_ had taught Thor that speaking with one's mouth full _isn't_ appealing to the fairer sex, so not even _he_ talked while he had food in his mouth. They'd covered what Shield was, what Shield did, what the civilians could and – more importantly – could _not_ say about Sheild. They'd talked about funding from Shield for Dr Foster (Shield was _very_ interested in her continuing her research) and a possible job for Dr Selvig (though it was a bit more up in the air 'if you would be interested' sort of work for him). Then...

"What about Darcy?" Jane asked.

"I've still got college to finish," Darcy answered before Coulson or Barton could. "Does Shield even _have_ a job for a poli-sci major?"

"One who knows her way around a taser _and_ a computer?" Barton quipped with a smirk. "Oh, we can _definitely_ find work for a girl like that."

"We _will_ be in contact with you, Miss Lewis," Agent Coulson promised, a twinkle in his eye that could be interpreted by the scientists as 'you know too much for us to _not_ keep an eye on you', but which Darcy and Loki both know to be amusement, as Darcy already had a job with Shield and only Thor and the scientists don't know it.

"And what about Thor and Loki?" Erik asked lowly.

"Up to them," was Coulson's quick response. "Shield is aware that both are princes to another... _realm_. Though of course we will be watching while they are here. Any further details would need to be discussed privately before you could be let in on it."

"And even then, security clearance probably wouldn't be high enough, right?" Darcy fake-groused, and her pout would have been more convincing if half her mouth hadn't been trying to smirk at the same time.

"Possible," Coulson allowed.

"Likely," Barton added with a smirk.

"Mr Odinson, I believe you haven't tried at reclaiming your property yet today?" Agent Coulson said as he rose from his seat. "Will you be accompanying us back to the site, or will you make your own way there later?"

"Later," Thor answered. "I thank you for the consideration, but I feel there are things that I must discuss privately with the Lady Jane."

Pink blossomed on Jane's cheeks and a small smile tugged at her lips as she very determinedly did _not_ look up from her own lap.

"I wanna know why Loki hasn't tried pickin' up the hammer," Barton said as he stood up. "You're both Asgardian, right?"

"First, because it is _Thor's_ weapon," Loki said. "My preference in regards to weaponry is to pole-arms or my throwing knives. Second, quite apart from never having learned to use an over-sized hammer as a weapon, I will _never_ be 'worthy' enough to lift it from its place."

Thor frowned at his brother, confused. "Why do you think such a thing of yourself, Brother?" he asked.

Loki's smile was tight, small, and utterly fake. Pained almost. He looked away and rolled his lips, moistening them for speech as he thought over what to say, how to say it. "Because I am not Odin's son. Not truly. In my heart and by Odin's vow, certainly I am. But by birth? It is not so. How can I then be worthy of a weapon fit for a ruler of Asgard, if I am but a foundling, taken in by Odin when he found me as a babe, left for dead?"

Silently, he was grateful that Clint had 'forgotten' their conversation where Loki had admitted to being a Jotun, and that Darcy hadn't really heard him when he'd mentioned it to his mother. He was _also_ grateful that Clint had given him a way to broach the subject with Thor of _not_ actually being his brother. It was a delicate topic after all.

Thor looked at Loki with a horrified, betrayed, and pained expression on his face. "H-how long have you known this?" he asked, tears beginning to well up in his blue eyes.

"Not long," Loki answered. "Father did not tell me until after he had banished you from Asgard, I suspect he would not have told me at all if Heimdall had not spoken. It is why I followed you. I needed time to think about what being... _adopted_ meant for me. I had no desire to be in Asgard, in the palace I had no true right to inhabit, while I did so." He forced a smile, still fake, evidenced by the watery-ness of his own eyes, but as bright as any mischief-making smile he had ever worn for his brother in the past. "I have a family of my own on Midgard after all," he said, with put-upon brightness.

Barton was nodding along. "Family issues," he said softly, lowly, _sympathetically_. "I think alcohol might be in order," he added.

"Go and raise Mjolnir to the heavens, Brother," Loki said gently as he rose from his seat. "Agent Coulson, would you be against my stealing away Agent Barton to my California home? I have a much wider range of alcohol there than is available here."

"Have him back by midnight. He's on detail from ten tomorrow," Coulson answered.

Loki nodded. "Of course. Agent Barton, if there's anything you wish to take with you?"

"Would it be paranoid of me to bring a weapon along?" he asked, even as he slung his quiver of arrows off the floor and onto his back and picked up his bow.

"I would never ask a warrior to go anywhere unarmed," Loki answered.

"I can't come?" Darcy asked, making eyes at Loki.

"Male bonding," Barton and Loki answered her at the same time.

"Besides, I need you here," Jane added, laying a hand over Darcy's arm comfortingly. "I'm going to need _your_ company, and probably a few pints of ice cream before the day's over."

Darcy smiled at her boss-lady and relented.

Loki lay a hand on Barton's shoulder, and the two of them disappeared from the lab.

~oOo~

Clint whistled in appreciation when the pair of them popped into existence again in Loki's front entry.

Loki chuckled. "Is that for the ride here, or for the way I have styled my home?" he asked.

"Both actually," Clint answered easily, a smile on his face. He'd seen the schematics of Tony Stark's house in Malibu when Natasha was preparing to do her infiltration bit. It was everything he expected of a rich man's house in these modern times. Open plan, big spaces, high ceilings, big furniture, some expensive art-type stuff around the place, but the rooms were so big (and otherwise empty) it was impossible for the place to look cluttered. It was a house that kinda looked like it was meant to be filled with people holding champagne flutes and wearing cocktail dresses.

Loki's place was _nothing_ like that.

The ceiling was high, yes, but not nearly so high as in Stark's house. It wasn't as 'open plan' either. There were definite walls and doors, closing some spaces away from view completely. The spaces _were_ big, but again, not as big as the space in Stark's house, and not nearly so empty-feeling. The furniture was all old-fashioned, the sort of thing that looked lovingly crafted by a master tradesman rather than tubes of metal bent at a specific, ergonomic angle in a factory. There was a large bookshelf that went up to the ceiling on one wall, with a ladder on wheels so that all of the books on the higher shelves could be easily reached. It covered the _entire_ wall.

There was just... _something_ about the place that made Clint think of all those movies that had been set in times where things didn't _just_ have to do what they were made to do, they had to be _beautiful_ as well. And yet... It didn't feel as ostentatiously _rich_ as Clint was sure Stark's house did. That was it. Stark's Malibu house was just that: a house. This place that Loki had brought him to? It was a _home_. Clint had been welcomed into a place that Loki had claimed, from top to bottom, as _his_.

Clint couldn't help but wonder if this was what Asgard looked like. So, of course, he asked.

Loki chuckled as he led the way through his home to the room with the liquor cabinet. "No," he answered. "Asgard... is more _golden_. Perhaps I will take you there some day and you may see for yourself," he offered as he pulled a cork from a ceramic jar and poured an inch of the contents into a short, fat glass before he replaced the cork and took out a fancy looking glass and poured into it from a black glass bottle, filling only the lower-bulb of the glass, which was an interesting way to measure shots, if that's what Loki was doing. The bottle, like the ceramic jug, was returned to the liquor cabinet once it was re-corked.

"Have you taken a lot of people to Asgard?" Clint asked as he accepted whatever it was that had been poured into a glass and handed to him. It was a deep golden amber sort of colour, and the smell reminded him of the fields in the summer or at harvest time when he'd been with the circus.

"My wife, my daughter, my granddaughter," Loki answered. "I did not keep anything of myself from them." He snorted in disgusted amusement and corrected himself. "Nothing that was not kept secret from me, at any rate," he said, then knocked back the shot of green liquid he'd poured for himself.

"Can I ask what's the poison?" Clint asked, holding up his glass and looking pointedly to Loki's empty one.

"You have in your hand a snifter of hundred-year-old Scotch," Loki answered with a smile. "Mine was absinthe. I don't care for adding sugar and ice-water to my drink though, however traditional it may be to do so."

Clint blinked. "Right," he said. "I don't think I'll knock this back with the same speed you did yours though, if that's alright?" he asked as he raised his glass pointedly again. "Quality booze like this needs to be _lingered over_."

Loki chuckled, nodded, swapped his empty absinthe glass for a wine glass, and let himself into an Australian red wine before he settled himself into one of his chairs.

Clint took that as his cue to finally sit as well.

~oOo~

"The _what_ initiative?" Loki asked, blinking at his drinking buddy.

"Avengers Initiative," Clint answered. "I didn't come up with the name, and I'm not exactly going to ask Fury what he was smoking when _he_ came up with it."

Fury being the big, one-eyed black man who ruled Shield with an iron glare. He didn't need fists when his one-eyed glare of doom was directed at you. Clint had already told Loki about his boss... about two drinks ago. After the Scotch had been mead (which Clint had _liked_), and then a Guinness (which he'd damn near choked on because he wasn't used to beer like _that_), he was currently drinking extra añejo tequila – he'd missed out. He had _really_ missed out.

"And this is what Fury wants me on side for?" Loki asked sceptically, disbelieving. "An 'oh shit no' response team?"

"Not exclusively," Clint answered with a chuckle. Hearing Loki swear like that was amusing. It was the accent and the way he said even foul words _properly_. And he was thoroughly buzzed. "I'd guess he's got other stuff he'd like you to do as well, but you can agree to being part of the Avengers Initiative and then tell Fury to fuck off the rest of the time if you want. Me? I enjoy working for Shield. The pay is good, the work isn't completely shit, and it's because of Shield I met my girlfriend. On the other end, there's Tony Stark. He does his thing, pisses Fury off whenever they're in the same room, but he'll go along with the whole Avengers Initiative bit if it ever comes to that."

"Well, if he likes living and the enemy is going for destruction of your planet, then yes, I suppose he would," Loki said with a chuckle.

"And you wouldn't?" Clint asked.

Loki sighed. "No, I would," he answered. "Midgard may not be the world I was born to, but it is where I feel the most at home. Tell me about your girl," he requested softly.

Clint smirked. "Sorry, you don't have clearance," he said.

Loki barked out a loud, amused "Ha!"

Clint chuckled. "Yeah," then he calmed down and the smile slowly slid from his face. "I think she and I are on our way out though. It's been a couple of years, we work together, fight together, sleep together – and it's great. Really it is. Think I could honestly be in love with her. But I _know_ her, you know? She needs someone who isn't in our line of work. Deserves someone who can give her relief from all the shit, all the debts she feels like she owes."

"Debts?" Loki asked.

Clint nodded. "She talks about having red in her ledger, and in our line of work there are people who think she's talking about blood, about people she's killed. She isn't. It's debts owed. My name is in her ledger, written in red. It's why we won't work for the long run. I've got to let her go, let her know she's paid in full, doesn't owe me anything any more. She won't necessarily _believe_ me, but I've got to tell her, and I don't think we'll stay together in a relationship past that," Clint explained, gently swirling his drink in his glass and staring down, down into the bottom of it.

"Would you be able to work together after a break-up?" Loki asked.

Clint nodded. "We're professionals," he said. "It's what we do."

"And what about you?" Loki probed. "Do you need someone to distract you from your work, or do you prefer someone who's in it with you?"

Clint chuckled. "Tried both," he admitted. "_Liked_ both too, but I keep on getting into relationships with women who need something other than me, and I'm man enough to admit where my failings are in terms of relationship material."

Loki smiled just a little. "Perhaps you're looking for the wrong things in women then," he suggested.

Clint snorted. "Probably," he agreed. "So, Avengers Initiative, Shield operative, you in?"

Loki mulled that over a moment, stared at the ceiling as he considered. "I'm in," he decided at last, and took another sip of his wine. He'd been working through the single bottle while offering new tastes to his guest. His poor, uneducated guest who had barely branched out from weak American beer in all his years as a recreational drinker.

~oOo~

True to his 'orders', Loki had Clint back at the Shield base around the crater outside of Puente Antiguo, back in New Mexico, no later than midnight. Interestingly enough, they were packing up – and in a more permanent-looking sort of way than would be anticipated if they were still guarding Mjolnir from being tried for like it was Excalibur.

"I take it that Thor was able to retrieve Mjolnir after I left?" Loki asked when he and Clint found Agent Coulson. Clint was... leaning heavily on Loki, but still upright and conscious, which was more than Erik had been after he went drinking with Thor.

"He did," Coulson confirmed, "and then returned to Miss Foster's lab after _pledging_ that he would come to Earth's aid should he ever be needed. Mr Odinson, do you have an answer for me?"

"He's on board!" Clint said happily, grin spread across his face.

Coulson blinked at his sniper a moment before turning his attention back to Loki.

"Nanu-nanu, take me to your leader," Loki joked with a smirk as he held up his hand in the Vulcan peace sign, then turned it on its side as Mork had done.

"Coulson! Coulson!" Clint said, launching himself from Loki to grip the lapels of Coulson's jacket. "We get to keep him! Isn't that awesome?" he asked in a loud, excited whisper, his eyes wide like a child that's been given the best present ever and has to tell their parent all about it.

"You got one of Shield's best agents drunk, Mr Odinson," Coulson said solemnly.

"He had five drinks, Agent Coulson," Loki countered. "He's playing it up. Though perhaps the sake after the tequila was a little much. I, on the other hand, had a glass of pure absinthe, a whole bottle of wine, _and_ agreed to be part of the Avengers Initiative, as well as a consultant if you ever need my help with anything."

"Thank you, Mr Odinson," Agent Coulson said. "I will see you in the morning."

Loki nodded and turned to go. "And Clint?" he said, stopping before he got too far away.

"Yeah man?"

"When it happens – Friends Theme."

"Thanks man," Clint said, a dopey, but genuinely grateful smile on his face.

"Do I even want to know, Agent Barton?" Coulson demanded softly as he dragged the inebriated man towards his camper-van.

"Learn more 'bout pop-culture, Boss," Clint answered, finally starting to hit the 'sleepy' stage of being drunk.

~oOo~

Jane and Darcy had apparently retreated to private quarters earlier, and taken all of the ice cream with them. Erik was asleep. Loki found Thor on the roof, alone and once more dressed in his usual armour, Mjolnir at his side where it belonged.

"Will you be returning to Asgard?" Loki asked softly as he walked up to stand by his brother's side.

"Brother!" Thor exclaimed softly as he turned sharply in surprise. Clearly he hadn't heard Loki's approach. "I..." he said, and broke off as he returned his gaze to the horizon beyond the town. "I do not know. Father banished me. His banishment is not simply rescinded because I can now lift Mjolnir."

"You're making excuses," Loki said firmly. "What is your _real_ reason for not returning to Asgard at once, Brother?"

"I have spoken with the Lady Jane," Thor said quietly. It would possibly surprise some of his acquaintance to learn that Thor _could_ speak quietly. Loki was one of the few who got to see him like this, got to hear him speak with quiet, unsure solemnity. Was privileged to bear witness to Thor's moments of vulnerability. Such moments had become increasingly rare as they both aged, had been replaced with silent huffing or loud temper-tantrums. Yelling and over-turning tables before settling in for a royal sulk, for instance.

"And?" Loki prompted softly.

"She has agreed to courtship," Thor answered. "But I know little of her customs, and likewise she knows little of ours -"

"Thor," Loki cut in, a soft smile on his face. "Courtship on Midgard is just the same as it is on Asgard, save she will neither expect, nor likely _want_, any hunting trophies. Dining, dancing, taking her to the theatre, spending time together and learning about each other. There will be some things she will enjoy more than others, it is the way of all things. Plan your outings together, so that you can learn her preferences and when you are assured of them you may plan occasional surprises for her."

"Thank you, Brother," Thor said. "I... I would not wish to offend the Lady Jane with improper behaviour."

"As you did that first day when you smashed a cup demanding another coffee?" Loki prodded, jokingly.

Thor coughed. "Yes," he said. "I have learnt my lesson there."

"Mother will be pleased," Loki said, still smiling, "and I think she will like the Lady Jane when you introduce her."

"What of you, Brother?" Thor asked. "Will you remain on Midgard, or return to Asgard?"

"I have agreed to work with Shield," Loki answered, and now it was _his_ turn to watch the dark horizon while his brother watched his face. "I still do not feel ready to return to Asgard, and shall remain here, perhaps spend some more time with my granddaughter, and Agent Barton is good company."

"Do you make this decision because you are adopted?" Thor asked softly. "Will you _stay_ on Midgard, never to return home?"

Loki closed his eyes, bracing himself mentally against the pain of the words he knew, _knew_, that had had to speak to his brother. "I am a Jotun," he said. Neutrally, without inflection, without _feeling_.

Abruptly, Loki was pulled into a fierce embrace, and he did not resist it. He clung to his older brother... and wept. He was so grateful to be _held_ after such an admission, rather than to have been pushed away, as he had feared would happen.

"You are _my brother_," Thor answered with a quiet, fierce intensity. "_My_. Baby. Brother," he reaffirmed, taking Loki's face in his hands and staring into his eyes, making sure that Loki would never doubt these words from him. "And aren't you a bit _short_ for a Frost Giant?" he added, more teasingly.

Loki chuckled wetly. "I was abandoned for being too small. I cannot even _look_ like a Frost Giant without touching something... too cold to be touched," he explained.

Thor nodded. "Then I am grateful for your failings, or I would never have had you as my brother, and I would not be without you," he said sincerely.

~And the All Lived Happily Ever After... Kinda. More or Less~


	8. Chapter 8

"You have a granddaughter," Darcy said, her voice flat, disbelieving, unhappy.

"Yes," Loki answered. "Doctor Stephanie Rogers, named for her father. And?"

"I can't _believe_ you have a granddaughter!" Darcy exclaimed, waving her arms about.

"Lady Darcy, I am several _thousand_ year older than you," Loki pointed out with a chuckle. "May I ask what the problem is?"

Darcy huffed. "I just... never pictured _me_ being one of those women who dated a guy who had a _kid_ closer to her more appropriate dating range," she mumbled through her pout. "And you said there wasn't anybody back on Asgard," she added.

"There isn't," Loki confirmed, politely ignoring Darcy's bit about dating an older man. "Alice, my _only_ wife, has been dead for decades, and she – a mortal – remains my only romantic dalliance from before I met her until now."

"Why?" Darcy asked, confused. "You must have had plenty of opportunity..."

"I wasn't mature enough before, and after I was still grieving a little. Then the times were uncertain and changing, and men in uniform were more popular..." Loki recalled, then shrugged off the memory. "But then my daughter was pregnant, and my granddaughter was born. I helped raise her, and she was a grown woman when the _seventies_ came and I had to leave for blushing at the promiscuity -"

"So, wait, have you also got a _great_-grand-kid?" Darcy asked, interrupting.

"No," Loki answered shortly. "Stephanie dislikes men, and I admit that sometimes I think she only makes an exception for me because I am both family and not human."

"More likely to jump Jane than Thor, gotcha," Darcy nodded.

Loki smirked. "She's not likely to _jump_ anybody at her age, even if she does attend both yoga _and_ pilates classes. She's very nearly seventy."

"So..." Darcy hesitated. "Do you look at me and think 'she could be my great-granddaughter', with the age difference and all?" she asked.

Loki shook his head with a smile. "No, Lady Darcy," he said, a slight chuckle to his words. "I do not. However, I am a _marrying_ sort of man, the long-term relationship with commitment and cuddles and making breakfast in the morning and dinner in the evening and arguing over where we squeeze the toothpaste tube from. I have never had a one-night stand, whatever the myths say about my promiscuity, any such claims are lies. I am also not friends-with-benefits inclined, nor particularly good at sharing, and I think you aren't interested in being married at this point in your life," he said pointedly.

Darcy nodded, and smiled a little sheepishly.

"And by the time you _are_ ready for such," Loki said gently as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, "you will probably have found someone else to share that with. But, I _will_ be your friend through it all. I do _like you_, after all, Lady Darcy."

"Thank you Loki," Darcy said softly.

Loki nodded.

~oOo~

"That's her," Clint said softly, nodding discreetly towards the door.

Loki turned slightly in his seat to look. "The curvy red-head in the skin-tight -?" he asked

"Yeah," Clint affirmed. "Finally finished her latest mission."

"Time for you to man up then," Loki noted.

Clint nodded and rose from his place on the bench. Cafeteria seating in the Hellicarrier. It could be worse though. As it was, he was headed over to his super-spy/assassin girlfriend, the Black Widow herself, to tell her that he didn't want her to date him because he was red in her ledger -

Loki watched intently as Clint crossed the room and spoke quietly to the red-headed woman. He blinked when the crack of palm against cheek echoed through the room.

Clint didn't let the strike deter him. He still had to tell her that he knew perfectly well she wasn't happy with him -

She slapped him again, on the other cheek. The sound echoed through the stunned, silent cafeteria even more loudly than the first one had.

Loki blinked again, even as he continued to chew thoughtfully – though more slowly – on his sandwich.

Clint told her that she deserved love, _real love_, in a relationship, he knew she did, and he would always, _always_ have her back if she ever needed him for _any_ reason, because he loved her, even if he knew she couldn't love him back.

Then she _embraced_ him, the very beginning of tears in her eyes, though Clint was the only one who saw them. Was the only one to hear her heartfelt, whispered 'thank you', and he hugged her back briefly, kissing the top of her head before he released her and quietly invited her to join him at his table when she got her food.

She nodded, and they separated.

"So?" Loki asked quietly.

"That went better than I anticipated, actually," Clint said.

"You have a bright red hand-print on each cheek," Loki pointed out.

Clint nodded. "Better than I anticipated," he repeated. "Take me back to your place tonight and get me drunk out of my mind?" he asked.

Loki chuckled. "I'll clear it with Fury and Coulson," he promised.

"Thanks."

And then the red-headed woman reached their table.

"Natasha, this is Loki. Loki, this is Natasha."

"Hi," she greeted neutrally.

"A pleasure," he countered with a smile, and shifted down the bench slightly, indicating that she was welcome to sit.

They were friends before Loki had finished his sandwich. Natasha was even laughing, something a lot of Shield operatives hadn't believed _possible_.

~oOo~

Loki calmly watched as Clint sipped from the glass of absinthe he'd been given (with the sugar and ice-water added, as was traditional, rather than taking it straight as Loki did, there might be inclination for Clint to compare the two some other day though). The bright red hand-prints had faded at last, though Clint had worn them without complaint while they were still visible. Hadn't asked for ice or anything.

"Is it normal to question your sexuality after breaking up with a woman that beautiful?" Clint asked when he eventually finished the glass.

"Possibly," Loki answered. "But you wanted more from your relationship than just her body, so I wouldn't worry about it too much."

Clint nodded gratefully, absently. Hearing the words, taking them in, and grateful for them even as he was preoccupied with the thoughts circling within his head. "What's my next drink?" he asked.

Loki considered his friend, and rose from his seat to the liquor cabinet. He withdrew a long, golden, polished horn with gold capping both the flat base and the pointed tip, and two tumblers. Gently, he tugged the gold tip off the horn, and poured a dark liquid into the two cups solemnly. Then he replaced the cap, and the nearly metre-long, apparently hollow horn was returned to the cabinet before he took both tumblers and handed one to Clint before he re-took his seat, the other goblet still in his hand.

"What's this one?" Clint asked.

"It is of Asgard," Loki answered. "Cider made with the Apples of Idunn."

Clint frowned. "Idunn, isn't that... uh... those are the apples that keep the people of Asgard young, aren't they?" he asked.

Loki chuckled. "That is the mythology," he agreed. "That the elderly of Asgard eat Idunn's apples and have their youth restored to them."

"I'm not gonna turn into a teenager if I drink this, am I? Or a baby or anything?" Clint asked wearily.

"As amusing as that would be," Loki said with a chuckle as he shook his head. "The _flesh_ of the fresh apples rejuvenates," he clarified. "The fermented juice simply slows the ageing process a little. The fewer processes the apples are put though, the greater their magic," he explained before drinking from his cup himself.

Clint nodded in acceptance and took a tentative sip. When he looked over himself and decided that nothing had happened and he liked the taste, he had a proper mouthful. It didn't take him long after that to finish the drink, and he blinked a few times before he looked back to Loki. "Does Asgard only do cider?" he asked.

Loki chuckled, drained his tumbler as well, and rose from his seat. He didn't reclaim Clint's goblet though, happy enough for now to let the drinking vessels pile up on his table as a signifier of how much they would drink that night. "I have mead, ale and wine from Asgard as well as the cider."

"I'd say alphabetical order, but you screwed with that already by starting at C instead of A," Clint joked.

Loki smiled and fetched out in ivory horn like the golden one before, tipped with gold, and he poured out two mugs of dark golden drink. "Ale," he declared once he'd tidied up and was holding out one of the mugs to Clint.

"Cheers," he toasted, and didn't hesitate to chug back a mouthful.

Once they had both drained their mugs, Loki poured two goblets of wine for them from a red-stained horn with silver caps on the ends.

"Sk-_hip_-ping the mead?" Clint asked curiously, even as he accepted the new drink, the hiccup barely getting in the way of his words. He frowned at the hiccup actually, and held his breath for a silent count of ten, then nodded to himself when no more hiccups were forthcoming.

Loki smirked. "After the wine," he promised cheekily.

Clint shrugged, but let it go and started in on the wine.

The wine goblets were cradled a little longer than the cider glasses or the ale mugs had been, but eventually they were finished as well, and Loki rose from his seat once more. He withdrew a long, twisted, black and highly polished horn from his liquor cabinet.

"How does that even fit in there?" Clint asked as Loki unscrewed the iron cap from the flat base, rather than removing the small cap from the pointed end as he had with the previous beverages. "I'd swear that thing is longer than the cab'net in every direction."

Loki chuckled. "Magic," he said easily as he brought the black horn of mead over and, rather than resuming his own seat across the table from Clint, he sat down on the couch beside his friend. "The mead is fermented in this, and is not poured into another vessel. It is simply passed around those drinking."

Clint nodded in acceptance and brought the lip of the hollowed-out black horn to his lips and tilted it up. "Wow that's sweet," he said with a slight gasp when he stopped drinking to breathe more easily. The mead he'd had last time he drank with Loki was normal, _Earthly_ mead. This was something else.

Loki chuckled as he took the horn from Clint and drank deeply himself.

~oOo~

As consciousness swam back into his grasp once more, Clint Barton became aware of several things. First of all, there was an elephant dancing a stately waltz in his eardrums – which in turn exacerbated the pounding in his skull – he knew, just _knew_, that the orange glow filtering through his eyelids would cause him nothing but pain should he actually be _stupid_ enough at this point as to open his eyes... and he couldn't feel his right arm at all, except through where he had his left hand wrapped around his right shoulder. It was really weird, being able to feel one of his own appendages through the touch receptors of a _different limb_.

Then whatever pillow he had been sleeping on shifted, and another arm snaked over the shoulder that he could still register feeling through and up so that a cool palm – wonderfully cool, deliciously cool, blissfully, magically cool – draped over his forehead. He couldn't help the groan of pleasure pulled out of him by the relief of that cool palm on his pounding head.

A near-silent huff and a spasm of muscles against his back told Clint that his pillow was _definitely_ a person, not actually a pillow.

Still, he knew that the light would hurt, so he didn't open his eyes to find out who he was sleeping on. Instead, he thought back to the previous night, what he could remember through the alcohol, and only one answer was really an option: Loki. Okay, so he knew who he was sleeping on. But what had actually _happened_?

Had he gotten so smashed there had been drunken gay sex? He remembered questioning his sexuality because he was _breaking up_ with _Natasha_. Straight men just _didn't_ break off sex with a body like that... But as Loki had pointed out, Clint wasn't in it for her body, and he knew himself well enough that he couldn't handle debt-sex any more. However great she'd made it.

No. Focus. Had there been orientation-altering drunken sex the previous night? That was the million dollar question. Clint hadn't ever had sex with a guy before, but he _had_ been briefed on the mechanics for if he was ever required to do so for a mission, so he knew the mechanics.

Body assessment time then. Sphincter? Pain free. Junk? Normal. Clothes? Now why hadn't he done that first? He was still dressed. Not quite _as_ dressed as he'd been when the drinking had started, granted, but he _was_ still _clothed_.

Without looking (still avoiding subjecting himself to painful light) Clint could feel that he was still wearing the muscle-shirt that he wore under his uniform, his underwear and trousers both, and his socks. All still on his person.

His virtue was intact, as it were.

He was not, however, going to reach out the only hand he had any feeling in to try and assess Loki's state of dress just because he wasn't ready to open his eyes yet. But the coolness of Loki's hand on his head was seeping into his brain and making the pounding quieter, quieter, until the waltzing elephant was gone and his skull no longer pounded. Hesitantly, Clint opened his eyes then, and was relieved when the light he had known was waiting for him didn't hurt _too_ badly.

"Morning," Loki greeted quietly.

"Morning," Clint answered lowly, and looked around. They were in a large bed with black cotton sheets, Clint's other clothes were neatly folded on a chair across the room, and... he had no memory at all of how he got to this point. He was being _spooned_ by _Loki_ in the man's _bed_. "Uh..."

Loki chuckled softly. "Perhaps drinking _all_ of my Asgardian mead wasn't the best of ideas," he suggested wryly.

"You remember how we got from your couch to your bed?" Clint asked hopefully as he twisted around to face Loki, moving his dead arm with his _other_ hand when he had to – which started the feeling coming back, which meant pins-and-needles for a while. Able to see his bed-mate now, Clint noticed that Loki was about as dressed as he was, which was comforting when the guy could magic his clothes to look like anything he wanted.

"I carried you," Loki answered. "This is actually my guest room. I wasn't going to make you sleep on the couch."

"Thanks," Clint said softly. "So... Uh..."

Loki chuckled. "You wouldn't let go of me," he said in answer to the unspoken question. "You're cuddly when you hit the sleepy stage of your drunkenness."

"Right. Sorry about that," Clint apologised softly.

Loki shook his head in dismissal of the apology. "Don't worry about it," he said. "I didn't mind at all. I _could_ have used my magic to escape after all," he pointed out, "but I'm one of those strange men that _likes_ cuddling in bed now and then, and that's something I haven't had since my granddaughter got too big to crawl into my bed when she had a nightmare."

"Glad to oblige then," Clint offered, a little awkwardly. Then he noticed something else. "Uh, what's that?" he asked, looking pointedly at a dark mark that was high on Loki's neck, just below his jaw.

"I'm guessing you are referring to the hickey you gave me just before you fell asleep," Loki answered with a slight smile.

Clint blushed. "I'm not normally _that_ friendly when I'm drunk," he said by way of apology.

Loki shrugged. "I normally wouldn't have let you," he admitted easily, "but I believe I would have reciprocated had you not fallen asleep."

Clint's blush deepened a little and his eyes got wider. "I'm not too sure how I feel about that," he admitted.

Loki chuckled. "Honestly? Neither am I. Breakfast?"

"Please," Clint answered, and both slowly heaved themselves out of the bed.

"The bathroom is through there," Loki offered with a gesture to one door, while he exited through another.

~oOo~

A quick shower, a shave, and emptying his bladder of all the booze that had gone through him the previous night, and Clint felt a hell of a lot better than he had when he'd woken up to a waltzing-elephant hangover. He re-dressed in the previous day's clothes, even if his clothes smelled less than fresh and felt less than clean on his skin. He'd change later.

For now, he followed his nose to the room where the delicious smell of frying bacon was wafting out from.

Bacon wasn't the only thing waiting for him. There was also orange juice, pancakes, sausages, and there was a coffee percolator dripping nearby.

"How do you like your eggs?" Loki asked as he withdrew a carton of eggs from his fridge.

"Sunny-side up works for me," Clint answered. "Just the one."

Loki nodded and proceeded to crack two eggs into the pan with the bacon. One was clearly for himself. Soon enough Loki was plating everything up and carrying the very large, high-piled plates over to the breakfast table – which Clint had set, with directions to where things were in cupboards and drawers, while Loki was cooking.

"I think I owe you dinner," Clint decided as he ate.

Loki smiled and chuckled. "How do you figure that?" he asked.

"You let me into your booze locker, didn't mind me being a strangely affectionate drunk, and now you're feeding me breakfast. Dinner is probably the very _least_ of what I owe you for all that," Clint said. "As a friend," he clarified. "If you _weren't_ a friend, I'd owe you money."

Loki chuckled at that. "Alright," he allowed.

~The End~


	9. Blooper Reel and Deleted Scenes

~oChapter One Blooper!o~

Loki blinked in mild surprise to see those present when he arrived on Midgard. He blinked again to see that Thor was unconscious at his feet with two thin wires that extended from clips at his chest to a plastic thing held by a young woman. He couldn't help but smile as he walked over to her.

"May I know the name of the woman who, I believe, _electrocuted_ my brother?" he asked, gently taking her hand and raising it so that he could press his lips to her knuckles when she answered.

"Darcy Lewis," she answered.

"Lady Darcy," Loki said, and kissed her hand. "I thank you. Thor was _long_ overdue a humbling."

Darcy, having officially had enough surprises for one evening, fainted.

~oChapter Two Blooper!o~

Loki sighed, then blinked as he saw a figure approaching. "It can't be," he breathed.

"Loki?" Darcy asked.

He blinked. "It's... my mother," he answered, and scrambled to his feet so that he could magic himself down to her.

"Can I meet her?" Darcy asked, also climbing to her feet.

Loki looked at Darcy like she was a fool, and blinked. "No," he said frankly, and then vanished from the rooftop.

~oChapter Three Blooper!o~

"He committed a crime! He's in jail!" Erik objected when Jane started talking about rescuing Thor after he'd brought her back from the crater site.

"I can't just leave him there!" Jane objected right back.

"Why?"

"You didn't see what I saw!"

"You saw my brother acting like the violent, entitled _ass_ he has always been, and then yelling at the sky like a child denied his favourite toy when he failed to lift Mjolnir, correct?" Loki interjected.

Jane did an excellent impression of a gasping fish as she tried – and failed – to find some answer to that other than 'yes'.

~oChapter Four Blooper!o~

"This tiny mortal _felled_ the mighty Thor?" Fandral asked, clearly incredulous. "How?"

Loki summoned Darcy's taser from the breakfast table and placed it in her hand.

She the pointed it at Fandral and fired it.

He fell to the ground twitching, just as Thor had done.

"That's how," Darcy said smugly.

~oChapter Five Blooper!o~

"What are you doing here?" Jane demanded.

"Inviting these two out for a drink," Clint answered with a smirk.

"Darcy isn't old enough to -" Jane started.

"I'm twenty-three, _Mom_," Darcy cut in.

"Shield stole my equipment!" Jane objected.

"Shield isn't taking me out for drinks," Darcy countered, her tone much more calm and reasonable than Jane's. "Agent Barton _works_ for Shield, yes, but he isn't the guy who gave the order to have your stuff hauled. More to the point he's a handsome guy who's offered to buy me at least _one_ alcoholic drink tonight."

"If it makes you feel better," Clint said, interrupting the two women before it could become a full-on cat-fight. "Shield will probably mostly move out by the end of the week, give you back all your stuff _and_ probably offer you more steady funding for your research than you currently have."

Jane blinked, her ire short-circuited but by no means permanently diffused. "Really?" she asked, clearly sceptical.

"Probably," Clint answered. "You'd have to talk to Agent Coulson to know for sure. So," he said, turning back to Darcy and Loki. "The pub at eight?"

"We'll see you there," Loki agreed.

Clint nodded, hauled himself up into the driver seat, and with a last wave he took off.

"What was that?" Jane asked, turning on Darcy and Loki both.

"I met Agent Barton when Loki and me went to get Thor back," Darcy lied with an absent shrug. "While they talked, so did we. He's a nice guy, despite working for the super-secret organisation that has currently confiscated your research."

~oChapter Six Blooper!o~

Loki quipped with a small, crooked smile. "As much as I love Thor, there _are_ days when I want nothing more than to use a brick to crack his skull open."

"I know the feeling," Clint commiserated as he finally opened one of the beers he'd brought, silently offering a second one to Loki (who took it, by the way). "I care about my brother – he's my brother, can't really do anything less – but I haven't actually _talked_ to him since I was a teenager. Good chance he's dead or in prison, now that I think about it."

"My sympathies."

Clint nodded, and together they each took a pull of their beers.

Loki coughed at the burn and drew back the bottle. "What _is_ that?" he demanded.

Clint smirked. "Not what the label says, that's for sure. Brewed it myself," he answered.

"Ah," Loki said. "Moonshine. _Thank you_ for the _warning_, Agent Barton."

Clint's laughter roared out across the stillness of the sleepy little New Mexico town. He'd pulled one on the god of mischief. How many people could say that?

~oChapter Seven Blooper!o~

"And what about Thor and Loki?" Erik asked lowly.

"Up to them," was Coulson's quick response. "Shield is aware that both are princes to another... _realm_. Though of course we will be watching while they are here. Any further details would be need to be discussed privately before you could be let in on it. Though a decision as soon as possible would be preferable," Agent Coulson answered formally, his face betraying no preference towards whatever answer he might receive.

Loki hummed, and conjured a coin which he flicked high into the air, caught, and slammed onto the back of his opposite hand without looking. Then he peeked. "My answer is 'yes'," he said, vanishing the coin. "Though of course, there are details that will need to be discussed."

"Of course.

~oChapter Eight Deleted Scene!o~

"...and then Clint scolded Coulson for not knowing his pop-culture," Loki said with a smile. "I was waiting for him to break out into song."

Natasha chuckled at the recounting of Loki's recruitment as she raised her glass to her lips and took a sip.

"Oh yeah," Clint said with a snort, and proceeded to prove that he actually had a fairly good voice for song. "_I'll be there for you_."

"_When the rain starts to pour_," Loki sung back.

Natasha couldn't help it. She snorted, and the liquid she had been drinking shot out through her nose. She then proceeded to crack up as her now ex-boyfriend sang the Friends Theme with the god of mischief in the middle of the cafeteria. As her laughter got louder, so did their singing.

"Are you all _drunk_?!" Fury demanded when he marched up to them.

"Sober," Clint answered.

"Just high on life and good company, Director Fury," Loki added. "Cheer up," he advised. "The world isn't ending today and no one is asking _you_ to change a baby's nappy."

Natasha burst out laughing again at the mental image of Director Fury changing a baby's nappy – mentally factoring in _every_ nappy-changing horror story she'd ever heard. She didn't stop laughing even when she fell out of her chair.

~oBecause YOU ASKED FOR IT!o~

Coulson's status, as it pertained to Captain America, was one of his defining characteristics to those who knew him. As such, even though the man was the best handler, the least flap-able agent that Shield _had_, he was still visibly near to swooning as he told Romanoff, Barton and Loki about his _hero_ being thawed out and awake at last.

"May I be permitted to meet him?" Loki asked.

Coulson blinked in mild surprise. "Well, he's part of the Avengers Initiative as well," he answered, "so you'll probably have to at some point."

"The sooner, the better," Loki said flatly.

"Well, he's on base," Coulson offered. "Wouldn't have pegged you as one to be interested in America's first home-grown hero."

Loki snorted indelicately. "I have reasons."

Barton and Romanoff had watched the exchange carefully. Coulson was a little off his game due to exposure to his boyhood hero. Life-long hero. Whatever. But _they_ noticed.

"Can we meet the guy too?" Clint asked with a glance at Natasha.

"Yeah," she agreed. "After all, _we're_ part of the Initiative as well. Better if we can get a feel for the guy before we have to work with him."

Loki smirked as he caught on. "We might as well all meet him at once," he suggested. "I'm sure that _three_ people wouldn't be _too_ many for him to handle, even after seventy years on ice."

Coulson wrote a series of digits down on a piece of paper and slid it across the table.

Floor of the base and the room he was in.

Loki nodded in silent gratitude, and rose from the table. He'd finished his lunch already. Natasha and Clint quickly moved to follow him.

Coulson was left behind, sighing over being this _close_ to his hero. And not quite having the courage to go and speak to him...

"Captain Steven Rogers?" Loki asked when he'd opened the door of the room Coulson's note had indicated, and found it occupied by one man only.

One man having a go at what appeared to be his _third_ punching bag.

"That's me," the blonde agreed, and stopped punching so that he could face whoever these new people were.

Loki slapped the man across the face. Right cheek. Open palm.

Steve worked his jaw. "What did I ever do to you?" he asked, confused.

"Oh no," Loki answered. "I promised Margaret Carter I'd pass on the message."

Steve blinked. "Peggy?" he asked. "You know Peggy?"

Behind Loki, Clint and Natasha bit down on their lips to stop the laughter from coming out.

"Knew," Loki corrected. "She's been dead for some time, Captain. You _daughter_, on the other hand, is still alive and well, even if she is going grey."

Steve choked. "My -?!"  
Loki nodded. "More to the point, Captain, _my_ _granddaughter_," Loki informed the man.

"And therapist," Clint quipped, finally unable to hold it in completely. It was just too much. "Don't forget that."

"And a much better therapist than Sigmund Freud was," Loki returned easily. "Though he had his merits, and was certainly good for a laugh when I needed one."

Steve frowned. "I'm... confused," he admitted.

Natasha, of all people, took pity on him. "Captain, this is Loki of Asgard. He was... _around_ before your plane went down, and likely won't age in our lifetimes," she explained.

"Margaret was my daughter," Loki stated. "You left her pregnant. I was the one to help her raise her baby girl, when it should have been you." He breathed deeply. "The only reason I'm not exercising my fatherly prerogative to string you up on the flag pole by your entrails is that Margaret made me promise that, if there ever came a day when you and I met, I was to slap you for her and leave it at that. I may be the god of lies and mischief, but I am not an oath-breaker. Especially not where it concerns my girls."

"Right..." Steve said softly as he tried to absorb all of that.

"You're getting off lightly man," Clint informed him. Then he smirked. "Quite the slap though," he complimented. "That's gonna colour up _real_ nice."

"I have a daughter..." Steve said softly.

Loki smirked. "She's older than you are now, since you thawed out to be the same age you were at the moment you were frozen, and she's … now, what _was_ the word they used for 'lesbian' back in the war era?"

"They _had_ one?" Clint asked, surprised.

"I think it was 'lesbian'," Natasha offered wryly. "Unless you're looking for a _derogatory_ term."

Loki shook his head.

Steve fainted. Knees just buckled and he fell forward on his already abused face.

The two agents and one Jotun looked down at the fallen man, then looked at each other, then all burst out laughing.

~The End~


End file.
